REGINA: Just wow. How did people react when you told them?
MARIANNE: I didn’t really tell anyone when I was still working in the business. Everyone seemed to accept this behavior and being still in college, I was always the youngest where I worked. I guess I just thought at the time, “this is how adults behave,” and then I would laugh it off.
REGINA: And later?
MARIANNE: Honestly, it was easier to deal with when I was in my early twenties. The older I got, the more serious it felt and I started to have my own insecurities about it. That was why I stopped working in the industry. I started getting panic attacks at the idea of going back into that work environment. I blamed myself. Maybe it was my fault. Maybe it the way I dressed, or the way I smiled, or laughed too much. Maybe it was because I wasn’t from a rich, or famous family. Maybe it was because I was too young to be taken seriously. Maybe it was because I dated one agent who I actually had very strong feelings for, but he must have told others, or something. I actually took a break for a while. I worked in another industry, I dated a professional person who had nothing to do with “Hollywood.” The funny thing was, “Hollywood” seeps into every facet of society in Los Angeles.
REGINA: The complete commoditization of sex.
MARIANNE: Basically, the men in Hollywood spoke to you and treated you like a whore, even if you weren’t. I didn’t just sleep with random men. I was dating people, thinking it was something real, and yet I was still treated like a “bimbo,” or a “thing.” After a while that messes with your self- perception. I didn’t think to look around and say to myself, “no, this is wrong. These people are wrong,” at least not until later when I met my best friend. She understood. We were able to share stories, commiserate and try to make some sense out of everything we had been through.
REGINA: What do you think about the plethora of accusations being made today from famous women?
MARIANNE: It’s actually crazy to me that all of a sudden, after decades of this sexual abuse culture prevailing in Hollywood, that people are finally speaking out. I do wonder why actresses have suddenly found their moral indignation.
REGINA: Lots of people are suspicious, it seems.
MARIANNE: The majority of these accusations are coming from actresses who made the trade: sex for fame. I wish it had come from people who work in the agents’ offices, production companies, etc., though no one would have listened. People have tried to speak up about abuse in Hollywood before. The response was always, “that person is jealous, or bitter, or a star-f****er, or trying to use the powerful and/or famous person to get rich.”