My mother sighed heavily and sat back against her pillows. I heard the clock ticking on the wall.
“Sweetheart,” she began.
I nodded, unable to speak.
“You’re like me, honey. You’re someone who hopes and dreams, and plugs away at life. You and me, we’re worker bees,” she said with a sigh. “We’re the kind of women who attract two kinds of men.”
I waited.
“Your father is a good example of the first kind of man,” she went on. “He thinks he can do more than he is capable of actually doing. He’s not as brilliant as he thinks he is. And he can’t keep his shoulder to the grindstone. Why? Because he’s not motivated by the things that motivate honorable men. He is incapable of love. Because it’s all, ultimately about him. And there’s a lot of men like this in the world.”
I nodded again, this time bitterly. Was I doomed to a lifetime like my mother’s, taking in one narcissistic loser after another?
She read my thoughts and sighed again.
“You think I’ve never learned my lesson, right?”
I didn’t reply.
“Well, you’ve been out of the house for a couple of years now, and do you notice any guys around here?” She was actually smiling.
“Um, well,” I said uncomfortably.
"Well, the answer is no,” she grinned at me.
I paused doubtfully. If this was true, it would be the longest she’d ever gone without a ‘boyfriend’ that I knew of.
“You want to know what I think?” she asked.
“A-About Melissa?”
“About her, and other things,” she leaned back on her pillows. “First, I think that girl was raised to think that material things are what brings happiness. And she has had no father. So she’s looking for a father who will bring her material things. And from what you tell me, she’s got one.”
“B-But she said she’s playing the field.”
“Maybe,” my mother said practically.
“Maybe she’s got more than one.”
I sat down as the reality hit me. Of course that was it.
“Melissa is-is selling herself to older guys?”
This time, my mother shrugged.
"Because he’s not motivated by the things that motivate honorable men."
REGINA | 63