Is It Okay to Be Honest in Prayer ?
Is It Okay to Be Honest in Prayer ?
by Hillary Morgan Ferrer
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I grew up in the church and was always interested in the things of God . I knew I was supposed to pray , but I wasn ’ t quite sure how . To this day , I have notebooks full of prayer lists that I made in junior high and high school . There is nothing profound in those prayers . I ’ m embarrassed to admit that I mostly prayed for popularity and for boys to like me . ( Give me a break ! I was in junior high . That ’ s what junior high girls think about !) Even in those meager attempts to follow God , the Lord developed in me the habit of coming to Him with my uncensored thoughts — praying what was actually on my mind , not what I thought should be on my mind . The shamelessness of those prayers cultivated an honesty in talking to God . And that honesty led me to pray a prayer that essentially changed my life .
I was in the ninth grade , and our Bible study leader started a New Year ’ s tradition where we wrote letters to ourselves documenting the past year and making projections for the future . At the end , we wrote out a prayer . The prayer I wrote in December 1993 became the model for my prayer life from that point forward :
Lord , I don ’ t really want You ... but I want to want You .
Talk about honest ! Who straight-up tells God that she has no interest in Him , but that she kinda wants to ? Me , that ’ s who . By this time , I knew what prayers “ should ” sound like , but I had practiced being honest with the Lord for so many years that when I matured enough to pray for something that really mattered , I didn ’ t feel pressured to sugarcoat it . The Lord knew my heart . He knew if I desired Him or not . Why pretend to be anything other than what I was ? It ’ s not like I had lost my interest in following God . I wasn ’ t in any kind of rebellion . However , I heard people talking about having a desire and yearning for the Lord , and I knew that — emotionally — I didn ’ t have that . But I really wanted to ! Starting that ninth-grade year , I saw the Lord faithfully answer that prayer , slowly changing me from a “ good Christian girl ” into an avid disciple .
That one simple prayer served as the “ aha moment ” for the rest of my life . And an aha moment is my hope for you too ! Often , we are so consumed with what we think our prayers should sound like that we neglect to say what we are actually thinking . God knows our thoughts ! He ’ s not going to be surprised that we ’ re not more “ spiritual sounding .” There ’ s nothing in Scripture about Him valuing elegant prayers more than simple ones . ( Just the opposite , really .) So why not come to Him as we are since He already knows ? Picture your kids coming to you like , “ Oh , thou art my wholesome parental unit ! Wilt thou doth grant me this sugary confection that delighteth my eyes and bringeth joy to mine heart ?” rather than “ I want a cookie .” If it ’ s right before dinner , the answer is no either way . And if we ’ re at a carnival , it ’ s probably yes either way !
Often , we are so consumed with what we think our prayers should sound like that we neglect to say what we are actually thinking .
An honest prayer is one in which you are willing to sound stupid , say the wrong thing , or admit things out loud that might be embarrassing for someone to hear . When we try and dress up our prayers , we aren ’ t fooling God . More often than not , we are fooling ourselves .
Puts words to the cries of your heart as you seek clarity and truth in today ’ s confused culture . Paperback $ 17.99