What Makes Mother’s Day Happy?
by Tracy Darity
It is a highly emotive occasion to say the least. Is it a “Happy” Mother’s Day?
As we celebrate or acknowledge this Hallmark occasion, it consciously or unconsciously takes us deep;
To magical childhood memories orchestrated and kept warm by your mother;
To the longing and yearning to know who she was and why she abandoned you before memory could take hold;
To confusing trips down the rabbit hole helter–skelter, where the good, the bad and the ugly of her swirl for a seeming eternity;
To the longing for one more embrace, one more I love you now that she’s gone;
To the resolve to be the opposite of what she was as you wrestle with the hurt that her unknowing and her choices caused you;
To the letting go of who you wanted her to be and the acceptance of who she is or was;
To the realization of all of the sacrifices and hard work she did for you that went unacknowledged;
To the outer shell that still sits before you with no trace of your mother inside.
Mother is… the caregiving, the hand holding, the cheek stroking, the boo-boo bandaging, the nurturing, the abuse, the neglect, the criticism, the unavailability.
Mother is… the memory, the haunting, the legacy.
Mother is… the biological, the adoptive, the surrogate.
On Mother’s Day there is an abundance of heartfelt expression of great love and admiration for whomever it is that we call mother. For those who do not have that nature of relationship with their mother, it can be a difficult time. You may feel cheated and angry, lost or sad. The reality is that every relationship, no matter how adverse it may be, allows us the opportunity to look deep inside and become a better person ourselves. There is no shame in honoring your less than greeting card worthy emotions.
So if“I love you” is not an authentic expression for your mother, work on “I forgive you”… that is a wonderful Mother’s Day gift for both of you.