It Won’t Motivate Me
“If I love myself and accept myself the way that I am I will not be motivated to change, I want to change because I don’t like myself.”
Many women get fueled and motivated by self-hatred, self-criticism or a feeling of dissatisfaction with themselves and their lives. And while that motivation could start them on a quest for a healthy life it will not supply enough fuel to take them all the way. Self-criticism will always eventually fail because they cannot make a full commitment to something they do not love. Only love, deep unconditional love, will get them through the ups and downs of life’s journey because they will do everything to care for something they love.
It’s Too Hard
“Yes, I know that loving myself is important, but it’s too hard.”
The only reason that loving themselves feels hard is because women have to unlearn the lie that they are unlovable. They learned it somewhere, picked it up along the way and now it’s time to look at it and shed it. And while loving themselves feels hard it is MUCH HARDER to not love themselves, to walk around with constantly feeling bad about themselves, to be plagued with self-doubts and self-loathing. Loving themselves is actually easy and natural, every young child knows how to do it until they learn not to. It is time to unlearn that and reclaim their right for self-love.
I “Love” Myself Too Much
“I do “love” myself, that’s the problem, I love unhealthy foods, don’t like exercising, love my unhealthy habits and I allow myself to indulge.”
There is a confusion here about what love is. Just like a person who stays in an abusive relationship because they “love” their abuser, real love makes you flourish and shine, not shrivel and get sick. If women love unhealthy foods and harmful practices, it is time to question that. Women who love sugar, cake, ice cream and sweets of any kind have my understanding and sympathy. I know. I’ve been there. The thing they must learn is that their
bodies don’t really love it, they crave it because many of the foods they eat and things they practice are addictive and numbing. Once they learn to create newer and life affirming practices, they will experience a deep shift and the unhealthy habits will fall away.
It’s stressing me out.
“I am committed to taking care of myself and have a grueling workout schedule, I eat clean, I meditate for hours and I’m all stressed out!”
Women who love themselves find time for relaxation, play, doing nothing, taking vacations, being unproductive, in short: having a more balanced life. It is great to exercise and eat healthy but it can be taken to the extreme where it becomes an obsession and no longer serves a healthy and happy life. I recommend that women start noticing the way they practice their healthy habits and how they make them feel. Is it fun cooking a healthy meal or is it stressful? Do they enjoy exercise and feel alive and energetic after, or do they feel drained? Is their relaxation practice really relaxing or a strain on their already too busy schedule? Allowing themselves to enjoy life and take pleasure in their activities is a main ingredient of self-love.
Have you recognized your resistance to self-love? Seeing your resistance clearly is the first step to embrace self-love and let its healing light move you closer to the radiant life you want and deserve.
24 | ElementsForAHealthierLife.com | October/November 2017