Alzheimer’s
A Piece of Paper
It’s strange isn’t it, I never really thought
about Alzheimer’s I guess it’s because it
has never directly touched my life. Like
most illnesses, unless it does then you
don’t actually have any deep thoughts
about it. So, why would it now, you may
be asking yourself well i t’s funny how
things happen...
that her mother would be very happy
that I liked it because she had knitted
it for her and only gave it to her that
day. I thought how ignorant I had been
but then how lovely for her to think the
people she loved were still with her. It
was sad, but to me it would seem to
have a nice side to it as well.
I answered the door to a client a few
weeks ago and while showing her into the
client room she very kindly asked me if
I would make a copy of a piece of paper
she had in her hand and she offered me
the chance to read it. While copying it I did
read it and I was touched by its contents
and on handing it back I told her I felt
moved by it and with tears in her eyes
she went on to say that the copy was for
a friend whose mother was suffering with
Alzheimer’s. She continued to tell me
that her own mother had died from this
illness and how she wished someone
had given it to her earlier because it may
have made a difference with regard to the
patience and understanding she should
have had for her.
Not such a nice side to it all I know. It
must be heart wrenching for loved ones
to watch and witness the way the illness
seems to take all the memories away and
to have a parent not remembering your
name or even recognise you….it must be
absolutely devastating.
I thought about it afterwards and felt I
wanted to know a little more about this
awful illness. In fact, it took me back
a few years to when I was working in
the evenings trying to earn a little extra
money for my wedding. It was a nursing
home for the elderly and when I was
setting up the breakfast tables for the
next day there was a lovely lady who
would always come in and say hello to
me, her name was Dorothy and she was
well into her 80s. I would ask her how
she was and what her day had been
like she would often say that she had
been out for lunch with her husband
and sometimes her brother and I would
think how lucky she was to have her
immediate family still alive and able to
visit her. One day I said how lovely she
looked in her cardigan and she told me
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I decided to have a chat with a couple of
people whose mothers sadly have this
illness - I wanted to know how it must be
for them. They both said how hard it was
when it first happens because you don’t
realise it’s happening - you just think they
have forgotten the odd thing and then
it starts to happen more frequently and
that’s when losing patience with them may
occur after all they are still going about
their daily lives they haven’t had to take to
their beds or go to the doctor because the
illness cannot be seen physically.
I have given a copy of this piece of
paper to many people now who openly
admitted to getting cross with a loved
one with Alzheimer’s. Now who would
have thought, that not only did that
piece of paper mean something to the
lady who handed it to me but go on to
be such a significant part in so many
people’s everyday lives. I won’t pretend
I know anything about this illness I only
know that a piece of paper made a big
difference to me that day at the office.
I hope this will mean something to you,
in fact you may need a tissue if you
have been unfortunate to have had
Alzheimer’s or dementia directly touch
your life but I also hope it helps you cope
with a loved one whom has it that you
hold so dear.
By Vivien Barker
Do not ask me to remember
Don’t try to make me understand
Let me rest and know you’re with me
Kiss my cheek and hold my hand
I very much feel for the loved ones
but I so feel for the person it may be
happening to more. How frustrating it
must be to be accused of not listening
properly and maybe forgetting to do
something or to go out somewhere
or worse to go out and reach your
destination only to wonder why you’re
there at all. It seems such a cruel illness.
I’m confused beyond your concept
I am sad and sick and lost
All I know is that I need you
T be with me at all cost
o
I only hope, from this very meaningful
piece of paper, that if it ever happens to
me my two sons will be handed a similar
piece of paper before my calling because
I wouldn’t want them to hold any guilt
about the way they may have coped with
my illness in its early stages.
Just remember that I need you
That the best of me is gone
Please don’t fail to stand beside me
Love me ‘til my life has gone
Do not lose your patience with me
Do not scold or curse or cry
I can’t help the way I am acting
Can’t be different though I try
Anon
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