Re - Creations Quarterly 2015 Winter Edition Volume III

Re -toCreations Quarterly You are free create or re-create yourself, your life, your destiny Winter Edition Volume III Issue III Guest Spotlight Rosenna Bakari About Re - Creations was founded by Elaine Crocker, whose mission is to partner with victims & survivors of sexual abuse as we make the journey towards healing and reclaiming the power that was stolen from us. We w il l p r o vi de an inspirational weekly radio show and motivational speaking & writing. Our goal is to create a life of not only surviving but thriving. To be inspired to freely & fully live, truly love, a n d w i l l in g l y fo r g i v e . Together we will develop the courage to chip away at the guilt, and shame that has burdened and broken us. We’ll encourage one another to pick up the pieces and dare to become whole. Connect [email protected] [email protected] Blogtalkradio.com/experience -strength-hope-ecrocker www.facebook.com/ elaine.crockerbey twitter.com/ECrockerBey In this issue: Rosenna Bakari is the founder of Talking Trees whose mission is to provide support to adult survivors of childhood sexual abuse and incest in their healing journey, with the vision to Build a MEGA organization that supports survivors in their journey of healing by creating supportive resources and healing tools as well as connecting and educating survivors as a collective community. On August 17, 2014 I interviewed Rosenna and found that in many ways we are like spirits with a similar mission, vision, and purpose. As you’ll see in the events section Rosenna/Talking Trees in honor of Sexual Violence Awareness Month will hold “Safe Space Day” on April 15, 2015. Now for my 2nd interview with Rosenna as you read you may find some similarities to your life but most of all my you fine hope… Tell a bit about yourself and give some background on the abuse you have suffered? I am 52 years old and I finally decided to come out of denial of sexual abuse at the age of 45. I was seven years old the first time I was violated. Three male relatives violated my between the ages of 7 and 18. That is a long time to be silent. Of course, at the time you assume that you are the only person in the world having the experience, it is your fault, and this is apparently OK because these people share responsibility for your care. So it’s not that difficult to remain silent. But then you get older and you have more experiences and the older and more experience you get the more horrifying you realize your experience has been. The more betrayed you feel, the more angry you become and the more distrustful you allow yourself to be. You can dress it up on the outside, but there are no internal roots of peace and joy. It’s like playing life on a field of artificial turf. Did you receive any treatment, therapy, counseling over the years and how effective was it? If not, what steps did you take? Were any more effective than others? There were a couple of times when I got to the point where I was barely functioning and sought therapy. I’d go just long enough to lick my wounds and replace a patch of artificial turf that had worn too low. How long did it take you to get where you are in life, healing today? I began to heal at age 45 when I had nowhere else to hide. A PhD, a black belt, an established poet, a successful marriage and grown children established me as a winner. But on the inside there was still a lot of confusion, pain, frustration and fear that triggered yet another PTSD episode from continuing to be around violators. I realized that I would never heal as long as I had to continue sharing my life with people who violated me. So that was the most important decision that I have made and stuck with. That is when my healing began. Would you say that you are "recovered" or "healed" now? Guest Spotlight 1-2 Events Article The Ending Silence Movement 3 Article What’s To Gain 4 Healing is a life-long journey. Being a survivor of childhood sexual abuse is like having an autoimmune disease. It doesn’t heal. It can go into remission and become symptom-free. But the minute you start living like you are healed, you stop paying attention to the things that keep you well. Then you risk having a flare-up. Do you consider yourself a survivor, and what does that mean to you? The term helps me to stay focused on my healing. That’s all it is. It puts my experience in perspective. The term is not an absolute term that one must accept or reject. If it helps a person, they should use it. If it interferes with a person’s positive life perspective then they should not use it. In the end, it is what you do with the experience, not what you call it. Cont’d page 2 1