RC Rocks Memoirs Memoirs - October. 2013 - Page 19

a Beautiful Thing

19

We have a wise saying in Turkish: “Every beautiful thing has an end.” But after the 24th of April, 2013, I found something I never EVER wanted to end. It began

June, 2010

“Mmm! The cheesecake is amazing.” said my best friend, Elif, a beautiful girl with curly brown hair. That night we were at Elif’s home, playing Wii together and eating cheesecake, chatting, talking, just having fun like we always do. Elif’s mom was watching us and smoking her Marlboro’s like she always does. Everything was perfectly “always.”

Out of nowhere, Elif’s mom started shouting, “Damn what I’m gonna do! Shit! What am I gonna do!” She was swearing and then she started crying. Elif and I were just looking at each other.

“What’s happening mom?” asked Elif. But her mom didn’t answered.

“Are you OK? What happened?” I asked again.

I had no idea what an innocent sentence would change my life. Elif neither.

“Seher has cancer, lymphoma.” that sentence killed both of us, we couldn’t say anything. We left the living room and passed to Elif’s room. We started crying, sobbing. Elif hates crying, she thinks she looks like a tomato when she crıes and I actually hate the times when she cries too. I just hated that moment.

Seher is one of my friend’s mom, Eda’s. We love her too much. Eda is a really sensitive girl, she cries for everything and yes she does have psychological treatment. I really didn’t know, STILL DON’T KNOW how can that girl carry on her life.

We decided to call Eda. She was sobbing. She told that her mom has cancer. I really don’t know what to say, Elif was crying, Eda was crying.

“We’ve got to be strong. Everything will be OK.” I said.

“NO! It will take a really long time, she is going to be really tired for NOTHING.” she answered.

“Don’t you remember my mom? She had got brain tumor, she went o Germany and got well in two months. Did it hurt me? Oh, yes it did. But everything is OK now. We’ve got to just be strong and never give up.” I said.

Elif and I talked about it the whole night. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENNED THAT DAY!

The treatment was painful for everyone: Eda, her sister who is just eight, their dad, us, our family, everyone who loved her. Seher was really tired, she swelled up like a balloon because of the medicine, she lost her hair because of chemotherapy but the worst thing was she started to lose her hope.

When nearly a year passed, Seher’s treatment was done. She would continue the treatment at home. We were really happy. We gave a big celebration.

After a while Seher wanted to have a check –up. The result took away our happiness. The cancer hadn’t left. The whole thing started again.

Everyone who knew her was stuck in a big black tunnel, an empty hole, lost their hopes. But the worst thing was to pretend like everything is OK, to pretend like it is just an “always” day. Everybody wanted me to look after my friends and be strong. I shed tears into myself. Just cried at night, when I was alone with my thoughts. I learned how to cry quietly.

It was a hot afternoon; my friends (include Eda) and I were going to the shopping center where our moms always waited us in a restaurant, at the same table. They were crying. I understood it in the very first second when we got close to the table. I turned them and asked,

“What happened?”

“Nothing.” they replied. They were lying.

“Elif is coming with us,” said my mom. And the other girls were staying together too.

They were trying to keep us together. Something wrong was going. I’M NOT AN IDIOT. I’M SURE OF IT. But I didn’t say a word; pretend like I am an idiot and didn’t understand that something is going wrong.

We arrived at home and slept. Elif’s phone rang in the middle of the night.

I was like “ Which stupid person is again having fun with us?!”

Elif was “Oh, God! Please open that phone I want to sleep.” We woke up, I opened the light, Elif straightened up on her elbows, reached her phone.

“Eda.” She said.

I’ve got the whole thing at that moment, I understood it and started praying. “Please don’t. Please, please, please, please, please, please. Don’t let it happen please. If you hear me please.” I really lost hope that moment. Everyone told us a LIE! What happened to “She will be OK, everything will be OK.” They made me tell that lie to Eda too.

“What?” She said but in a really calm tone.

“I’ll call you.” And she hanged up the call.

First I thought that I was wrong, I thought that it didn’t happened because of her calmness. But a huge tear fell of Elif’s eye.

“We lost Seher.”

She started crying. But I couldn’t. I was still there, at that sentence. I didn’t believe it. Elif called my parents to come down stairs and said the same thing to them. They knew it; the doctor was expecting it and he told our parents to get ready for everything. He said that she wouldn’t be able to get through the night. My parents said that they will go to hospital and than to Elif’s home with all of the parents. We get in the bed and cried for two hours without stopping. When Elif and my sister slept I continued crying. “What I’m going to do.” It was the 24th of April 2013. The next day we went to the funeral.

I ended believing God that day because I just wanted to blame something, someone but no one was there. That day changed my entire life. Whenever I remember it, a huge tear falls down to my cheek. There weren’t any hope left inside me. After that day I always thought that I maybe wouldn’t be able to see a person again that I can see now. It just settled in my brain. Eda is a really strong girl. She is trying to carry on her life and I’m and always will be with her. But sometimes I feel like “Somebody needs to help me to carry on because it’s too heavy.” At that day, a beautiful woman’s life ended but our beautiful love will never end.

She was the angel of the earth and now she is the angel of the paradise.

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