Quincy Area Bridal Magazine January 2020 Issue 22 | Page 63

11. What advice would you give to a soon-to-be wife?
K: Love and respect him for who he is, not who you wish he
was. All those things that drive you crazy? Pray about them
and pick your battles wisely. Extending him grace in those
areas will benefit you both more than nagging him about
something.
R: Be patient with your soon to be husband. There are times
when he needs to feel that you trust his decision making and
respect his ideas. When a man feels that his wife has his back,
he will move mountains to give his wife what she needs.
12. What is one difficult aspect of marriage you didn’t
anticipate?
K: How different our expectations can be sometimes and how
that dramatically alters the outcome of whatever the situation
is. Especially if we haven’t communicated those expectations
to each other ahead of time.
R: It is so hard to learn to consider the other person. If you
have been single for quite a while and have only made decisions
based on how it will affect you, then you have to transform
how you make decisions. I used to run all the time non-stop
and if I wanted to buy something, I would just work 20 hours
of overtime and buy what I wanted. I needed to learn that
Kimber valued quality time, and that whatever I wanted to buy
was not as awesome as having a wife that felt appreciated and
loved.
13. What is one great aspect of marriage you didn’t
anticipate?
K: I expected marriage to be difficult. In fact, I was skeptical
of the ones that seemed to be thriving. So when we got married
and things weren’t easy, I wasn’t surprised. But, we started
seeing a counselor early on, which changed us both. He helped
us figure out how to navigate disagreements and big decisions
and the past and tragedy and change. Through him, God
transformed us as a couple. I didn’t anticipate marriage to be
as good as it is now and it just keeps getting better. It takes
continual self-sacrificing intentionality but it’s so worth it.
R: The greatest thing about marriage is that I have a
teammate! A wife who can come along side me and help
me out. I can do so much more now that I could do alone!
Ecclesiastes 4:9 says Two are better than one, because they
have a good return for their labor. Doing life with someone
is amazing, someone to champion victories with, and to work
through hard times with.
14. What advice would you give newlyweds about merging
two families and dealing with “in laws?”K: Be gentle
in your dealings with everyone. If your spouse has a good
relationship with his parents then treat your in-laws like they
are your parents too. If your in-laws don’t offer that kind of
relationship in return, be intentional about making progress.
It’s important. Also, encourage your parents to treat your
spouse like their child, as an extension of you, because that’s
what they are. Ultimately choose each other though, stand up
for each other, and don’t talk badly about your spouse to your
parents or his.
R: Choose each other first and foremost. Never talk bad about
your spouse to your parents. Always consider how your spouse
feels about a situation or event where in-laws are present.
15. Do you encourage alone time or do you prefer to do
things as a couple and why?
K: We spend more time together than the average couple,
but that works for us. Since we own two businesses now and
currently have two rental properties, along with all the normal
responsibilities of “adulting,” being together more often than
we are apart helps to keep our communication flowing, which I
already said is the heartbeat of our marriage. However, having
alone time and time apart to individually enjoy friends or
family are healthy for you and your marriage.
R: Its a tough call on alone time vs together time. I think if I
am trying to power through something and knock a project
out, it’s easier for me to do it alone so I can stay focused.
Although because my love language is acts of service, I want to
have Kimber do “all the things” with me. She will say that she
prefers when we are together doing something that is relaxing
and spending quality time together that isn’t working on
business things or projects.
16. What is a favorite memory since you’ve been married?
K: Dancing with the Local Stars and filming together on a
mission trip to Barbados.
R: A favorite memory for me would be the time that we bought
a car in Arizona. We decided on the vehicle make and model
that Kimber wanted and then we sought out to find the year,