“Perfection is not pretty, it is not exciting, and it limits
us in every area of our life. It is only in our mistakes
that we truly gain glimpses of our potential.”
Definition of Perfection
There is nothing wrong in wanting to be excellent, to excel in all
areas of your life and to put a lot of time and effort into the people
and projects that matter to you. But when the idea of having to
do everything perfectly, without a mistake and without being able
to let your guard down makes you feel as though you have the
weight of the world on your shoulders, something needs to
change.
Question: When you think about trying to be perfect at work,
at home or out in the world, does it makes you feel energized or
does it suck the energy out of you?
If your definition of perfect makes you thrive and soar and you
have a sense of joy around the work you do, then do not change
a thing. Perfect is only a word and it holds no negative power
unless you have made “perfect” your only option. However, for
many perfectionists, perfect is the basement level for success, a
reflection of their self-worth and when things go wrong, instead
of acknowledging they simply made a mistake, they feel as
though they are the mistake.
If you or your team members have been engineered through a
culture of learned behavior that to be of value, you or the work
you do has to be perfect, it can lead to a very unhealthy way of
being, living and working. Sometimes the very thing you think is
helping you excel, perfection, is actually the very thing that is
holding you and your team back from stepping into your full
potential.
Fear of Imperfection
When we work in, or have created an environment, internally or
externally, where we set the lowest bar for entry as perfect, it can
2016 ISPA Conference & Expo
Professional Development Session
The Perfection Detox: Dropping the
Weight of Perfection So You Can Soar
Wednesday, Sept. 14 • 8 – 9 am
The Happiness Epidemic—
Catch It If You Can
Thursday, Sept. 15 • 8 – 9 am
create a culture of high stress, anxiety, fear and procrastination.
Everyone is so afraid that their new idea may not be a perfect
idea, so they do not share it. Creativity dies in isolation.
Everyone thinks the mistake they just made means they are
not worthy of their position, and so they try to cover it up.
Mistakes are just proof that we are trying.
Everyone also thinks they are the only one feeling this way, so
they feel shame around their insecurities. In turn, they work way
below their potential so as to not make waves or be noticed. In
fact, so many people feel this way that there is a name for it, “The
Imposter Syndrome.”
Types of Perfectionism
When it comes to perfectionism, there are three types:
1. SELF-ORIENTED This person can have either a healthy or
unhealthy approach to perfection, and it is possible to have a
healthy relationship with perfection in one area of your life such
as work life, and an unhealthy relationship in another area such as
home life.
The healthy mindset is when the self-oriented perfectionist
works hard with great success, energy and enthusiasm. He or she
has high expectations of one’s self and is internally motivated to
excel as well as feel energized by doing great work.
The unhealthy mindset is when the self-oriented perfectionist
becomes obsessed with striving for perfection. He or she
becomes highly self-critical and constantly focuses on the things
he or she thinks is doing wrong versus all that is going well.
2. OTHER-ORIENTED This is the person who expects others to
be perf ect. This type of perfectionist feels other’s success, or lack
of, is a direct reflection of them. If a manager leads the team from
this mindset, it often leads to low morale and a workplace filled
with negativity and doubt. A lot of finger-pointing, dodging the
blame and a lack of accountability can occur, as no one can
match up to the unrealistic expectations of the other-oriented
perfectionist.
3. SOCIALLY-ORIENTED This is the person who believes others
expect them to be perfect and are driven to maintain high
TO GET KOLBER’S free five-part video
series on happiness, click here or go to
petrakolber.com/ispa2016.
September 2016
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