BE THE CHANGE YOU WANT TO SEE A Conversation with Spa Professional and Inclusion Advocate Kírs Jay
BY DANIEL POULIN
IN THE PAST YEAR , MANY SPAS AND SPA INDUSTRY LEADERS have recognized the need to truly make their businesses more diverse and inclusive . That recognition has led to difficult conversations and caused us to confront uncomfortable truths while recognizing our need to do better . Meaningful change can be difficult , but it ’ s the right thing to do , and the time for that change is now .
As we continue to reflect on how we — as individuals and an industry — can make spas more welcoming for guests and staff , it is critical that we take the time to listen to the lived experiences of the individuals we hope to welcome . Which brings me to Kírs Jay ( pronounced like “ fierce ”).
Kírs is a spa professional with nearly a decade of industry experience who , as a transgender , non-binary person , has faced a number of workplace challenges simply because of who they are . Kírs has also addressed many of those challenges in their workplace and created real change . Pulse spoke with Kírs about their experience as a spa employee and some steps our industry can take to address trans and non-binary inclusion .
KÍRS JAY
Pulse : Tell us about yourself .
KÍRS JAY : My name is Kírs and I work as an experience coordinator at a luxury spa and hotel in Vancouver , British Columbia . I was born in Prince Edward Island and started my career in hospitality at the Fairmont Banff Springs , Alberta in 2013 . I am transgender and non-binary , which means that I do not identify as the gender I was assigned at birth , nor do I identify as either a man or a woman . I have never fully identified with male or female gender stereotypes , but the abuse I experienced as a child forced me to assimilate by adopting male gender norms — a decision I made when I was ten years old . Over time , however , I was able to explore my gender and determine for myself how I would express my identity .
In addition to my role at the spa , I ’ m a member of our corporate Diversity and Inclusion Committee . Through my work with that group , I seek to create gender equity and break societal gender norms by educating others and helping them understand how these changes benefit not only transgender and non-binary people , but everyone .
P : You use They / Them as your pronouns , why is that ?
K : First , it ’ s important to understand that a person ’ s pronouns are self-determined , can change , and are not merely a “ preference .” As a non-binary person , I use they / them pronouns because those terms align with my gender identity in a way that he / him or she / her pronouns don ’ t . Other people have different connections to their pronouns , and some may use pronouns such as ze / zir , xe / xem , ey / em or a mix — they / him , ze / her , and so forth . This is entirely personal and something that should be confirmed with each individual , not inferred .
So often , trans and non-binary people are mis-gendered by others through use of incorrect pronouns , but this discomfort can be avoided by simply sharing your own pronouns before asking to know another person ’ s . It may feel a little awkward at first to answer the phone by saying , “ Good Morning Andre , my name is Stacy and I use he / him pronouns . What are yours ?” But by doing this with everyone you meet — and by making other
28 PULSE ■ MARCH 2021