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Nowthat’sfunny!
Men Are From Mars,
Women Are From Venus
Two women are chatting in an of?ce.
Woman 1: “I had sex last night, did you?”
Woman 2: “Yes.”
Woman 1: “Was it good?”
Woman 2: “No, it was a disaster...my husband
came home, ate his dinner in three minutes,
got on top of me, ?nished having sex in ?ve
minutes, rolled over and fell asleep in two
minutes. How was yours?”
Woman 1: “Oh it was amazing! My husband
came home and took me out to a romantic
dinner. After dinner we walked for an hour.
When we came home he lit the candles around
the house and we had an hour of foreplay. We
then had an hour long session of fantastic sex
and afterwards talked for an hour. It was like
a fairytale!”
At the same time, their husbands are talking
at work.
Husband 1: “You wanted sex last night, how
was it?”
Husband 2: “Great. I came home, dinner was
on the table, I ate, had sex with my wife and
fell asleep. It was great! What about you?”
Husband 1: “It was horrible. I came home,
there’s no dinner because they cut the electricity because I hadn’t paid the bill; so I had
to take my wife out to dinner which was so expensive that I didn’t have money left for a cab.
We had to walk home which took an hour and when we got home I remembered there
was no electricity so I had to light candles all
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over the house! I was so angry that I couldn’t
get it up for an hour and then I couldn’t climax
for another hour. After I ?nally did, I was so aggravated that I couldn’t fall asleep and my wife
was jabbering away for another hour!”
What Would You Do?
A man returns home a day early from a business trip. It’s after midnight. While en route
home he asks the cabby if he would be a
witness.
The man suspects his wife is having an affair
and he wants to catch her in the act. For $100,
the cabby agrees.
Quietly arriving home, the husband and
cabby tip toe into the bedroom. The husband
switches on the lights, yanks the blanket back
and there is his wife in bed with another man!
The husband puts a gun to the naked man’s
head.
The wife shouts, ‘Don’t do it! I lied when I told
you I inherited money.
HE paid for the Corvette I gave you.
HE paid for our new cabin cruiser.
HE paid for your season Pittsburgh Steelers
tickets.
HE paid for our house at the lake.
HE paid for our country club membership, and
HE even pays the monthly dues!’
Shaking his head from side-to-side, the
husband lowers the gun. He looks over at the
cabby and says, ‘What would you do?
The cabby replies, ‘I’d cover his ass with that
blanket before he catches cold.’
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