Tasha Coryell | 27
They liked sweet drinks, you know, fruity things. They could dance without looking at each other, their arms moving in unison. They even got low at the same time. They had really good balance, I guess because they’re so wide. They didn’t tip well though; I thought they’d have more money, from press and stuff. Isn’t that how people like them make their money? When I took my smoke break, they were out there too. One girl would inhale the smoke in and the other would exhale out and they would switch. They got people to give them free cigarettes that way.
They go shopping at maternity stores to find clothes wide enough for their body. Nobody ever thinks they are pregnant. They can’t decide on a dress, so they buy two and bring it to the tailor who cuts them in half and sews each half together. They wear it to their first interview where they print out two resumes that say the same thing.
Boss:
I needed to fulfill a diversity requirement. It was a two-for-one.
They have two desks, two computers, two staplers, two desk chairs, two cubicles, the mirror image of each other. They take twice as long as everyone else to do their work, dashing from cubicle to cubicle every few minutes. The real dilemma is when both phones ring at the same time and they are stuck pulling in opposite directions until the ringing ceases.
Coworker:
They get the mail of two people, even though they do the same job. Half of their letters are the same thing, only with a different name on it. People are so careful to be politically correct these days, but I’m just going to say it: they only have one body, two hands; they need each other to open the envelope. Why make them do more work than they need to do for the sake of feelings?