26 | Psychopomp Magazine
and when they protest, he says, “How was I supposed to know which one comes first?” One leg trips walking down the stairs, but the other one stays steady, holding both of them up.
Frat boy (undocumented, name changed):
We all talked about it, whether or not we’d fuck her. We had this one pledge, he’s not in the frat anymore, but we made him go up to her at a bar and buy her a drink, I guess two drinks, one for each of the heads. He, uh, started flirting with them and stuff, and they didn’t seem to know what to do. They started giggling and acting all like the fat girls do when we flirt with them. I think they thought that he really liked them. Later he said that he felt bad for them, that they were actually really nice and that one of the heads was sort of cute, and he was kind of wondering how many boobs they had. This is embarrassing, but we started making fun of him, saying shit like, “Two head fucker” and stuff. One guy started talking about how they could give head to two people at the same time. I mean, they could give two people head at the same time. He wasn’t wrong. Does it like, count as a threesome? To fuck a girl like that? There’s only one vagina. Maybe that’s a good thing. I wouldn’t want to be inside a girl at the same time as someone else. That would be sort of gay.
They rent a two bedroom, two bathroom apartment on the nice side of town. They spend Monday, Wednesday, and Friday in one bedroom and Sunday, Tuesday, Thursday in the other. Saturdays they pass out drunk in the bathtub, double the drinks flowing through the same amount of blood veins. They build toilets facing each other so they can both throw up at the same time. When one twin shits, the other hand wipes up the mess.
Bartender:
They shared drinks, one cup, two straws. When I asked them why they didn’t each get their own, they said, “I get drunk too fast,” but man those girls could chug a cocktail.