“When you . . . , I feel . . .” For example, “When you say that I’m clumsy, I feel
hurt.”
v When you’re in the middle of a conversation (phone or in-person) in which
someone’s putting you down, say,
“I’m uncomfortable with what you’re saying. I’m outta here (or I’m hanging up).”
v When somebody asks you out and you don’t want to go, don’t make up an excuse or
lie. There’s no need. Just say,
“Thanks, but I think I’ll pass.”
You never have to explain why. The fact that you’re uncomfortable is the best reason
there is.
7. Dare not to compare.
Don’t judge a book by its cover . . . he’s a wolf in sheep’s clothing . . . etc. . . ., etc. Sure we
could throw a ton of stupid clichés at you, but bottom line is this: When you judge people
based on looks, your judgment could be way, way off. What’s on the outside never indicates
what’s on the inside. Cool-looking people shouldn’t make you feel inadequate—they may
not have their act together on the inside. Everybody is human. Remind yourself of that
whenever you let someone else’s image start to overshadow your self-image. It helps.
8. Break.
Exercise is one of the best self-esteem builders there is. It actually changes body chemistry
and stirs up feel-good chemicals in the brain. You must have noticed that after gym class,
you always feel a little better. So make this a part of your day: walk, run, jog, or engage in
sports. (As an added bonus, you’ll be toning up those muscles and looking better, which also
builds up self-esteem.)
9. Don’t get carried away.
You know how life just seems to stink when you have a cold or a pimple? Suddenly you
think you’re ugly, fat, clumsy –– whatever. It almost feels like you’ve turned into a different
person overnight. Sometimes outside influences make you see things that just aren’t there.
Don’t let yourself get too hungry, angry, lonely, or tired –– it can make you start saying
hurtful things to yourself that simply aren’t true. If you’re feeling down, go through this
mental checklist. Ask yourself if you’ve eaten properly...if you’re mad but not dealing with
it...if you’re feeling lonely and need to call a friend or if you’re tired and just need to take a
nap. They’re easy fixes for times when your world seems to be crumbling around you.
If that doesn’t work, when it seems as though you’re at the bottom of the world, try this to
give yourself some perspective: Find a copy of a photo of the Earth taken by the astronauts
when they were on the moon. (Unless you know somebody at NASA, you should just look
for one on the internet.) Hang it on your wall and look at it when your problems seem huge.
Imagine yourself down there on earth as a tiny speck, and it will help you see that your
problems –– in the grand scheme of the universe –– are really quite small.
PROTEAM DREAMQUEST CURRICULUM
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