Your Marriage Bores You - Now What ?
1 D tips for putting the fun back in your relationship
By Dr . Pepper Schwartz Guest Columnist
t ' s Friday night when you look I over at your spouse and it hits you :
Didn ' t we do this exact same thing - dinner , couch , TV - last Friday night , too ? Is this all there is ? As you ponder these questions , you ' re not feeling terrible about your domestic life . And you don ' t really doubt that you love your partner as much as you ever did . You ' re just ... well , face it ... kind of bored . And that ' s not a great way to feel .
I am pleased to report , in no uncertain terms , that it ' s possible to revive the fun , the feelings and the passion that you felt in the past . To start , you need to turn off the television , put away that novel and focus on revitalizing your relationship . Here are some things you can do :
1 . Widen your circle
New people can bring new perspectives - and new experiences - into the life you share with your partner . So seize the opportunity to expand your social circle to see where that might take you . If you meet a new couple , for example , who sail ( or knit , or cook , or whatever ), ask them to show the two of you the ropes . That might inspire you and your partner to take a sailing class together . You ' ll be energized by learning something new as a team - and by getting to know other people who are into it , too .
2 . Step up - and sign up
Many people need help in the world today , so your time and talents are likely to come in handy . Perhaps you volunteer at your church or temple
Marriage Bores You Dr . Pepper Schwartz Fun Relationships Jacksonville , Florida Summer 2014
already , but how how about trying something new that will let you see your partner in a new light ?
Depending on your circumstances , it could be something exotic : working to bring clean water to a remote village , for example . Or the worthy cause might be right in your neighborhood , such as providing support and respite for a burned-out caregiver . The aim is to do it together - and the result is often an accomplishment that gives you new things to respect about each other .
3 . Break free of your comfort zone
Do something together you ' ve never done before - especially if it requires you to stretch beyond your normal limits : Go white-water rafting ... meditate in an ashram ... camp out under the stars . Not only will this force you to serve as each other ' s support system and confidant , you ' ll be building shared memories you can tap together later on .
4 . Change hobbies , not hubbies
It ' s not that his-and-hers hobbies are such a bad idea , it ' s just that they take you away from each other so much . So why not bond over a new , combined hobby ? ( Poetry writing , anyone ?) Imagine the fun you could have learning
See FUN MARRIAGE page 12