ice !
As a kid , I remember always being told do " do unto others as I would have them do unto me ''. As the eleventh of twelve pastor ' s kids , it was mandated that we always smile and help everyone-no matter how rude or unpleasant they were to us . I became a pro at it , often disregarding my own happiness . I distinctly remember teachers and church mothers admonishing me to be kind to others . They were right ; we should treat everyone with kindness and respect . But as I grew into adulthood , a startling revelation was unfolded to me : a lot of people just aren ' t nice ! Is it because people intentionally want to be rude or inconsiderate ? I don ' t think so .
It is my belief that people aren ' t nice to others because they aren ' t nice to themselves . They walk around from day-to-day , filled to the brim with profound regret , guilt and self-accusation . They are taunted by mistakes they ' ve made and are constantly reminded of their shortcomings by that familiar voice of accusation with which we are all accustomed . They are their own worst critics and they unknowingly preclude any success from coming their way because they don ' t feel they are actually worthy of success or goodness in their lives . If you look at it on these terms , a lot of things start to make sense to you .
Are you one of these people ? I used to be . I was a self-bully . I would constantly tell myself how unworthy I was . I would compare myself with self-created perfected images of other people . I shied away from any chance of success-not because I was afraid of failing , but because I was afraid of that person on the back row in the audience who would raise his hand and disagree with my success . No matter your position in life , you probably identify with what I ' m saying , because this " self-bullying " crosses all racial , socio-economic and political lines .
Kent James , Cell : 904-566-6132 , Email : kvjames32209 @ gmail . com , Blog : writerkvjames . blogspot . com
Inward Focus Outward Purpose Kent James Jacksonville , Florida February 2016
Focusing on Being kind to Yourself may help you show Authentic Kindness to Others .
Here are a few things I do on a daily bases to remember to be nice to myself :
TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF
• Commit a few minutes every day to truly taking care of yourself
• Try to eat healthier foods ( I admit-I ' m still striving for this one );
spend time going on a walk while listening to your favorite music .
• Draw , write in a journal or read . Get to know yourself
• Sit outside and watch the sunrise ( or set ) while sipping coffee ( or tea ).
• Pay attention to your breathing . You 'd be surprised how short your breaths are when you ' re anxious . This increases anxiety. I like to inhale and quote a short scripture as I exhale .
REMIND YOURSELF OF THE GOOD YOU POSSESS
We were all created with different qualities , abilities and talents . The world would be quite boring if we all could run the River Run and finish at the same time ; or if we all sounded exactly the same when we sang . You may not have the perfect body-so what ! But you probably can organize a group or team till the cows came home . Maybe you ' re talented in writing inspirational words . Why not flood social media with your pearls of wisdom ?* And the value of the wisdom you share is not determined by the number of " likes " you receive If you like it , that ' s all that matters ! Do what you do and celebrate your talents ! Don ' t focus on what you don ' t have . Bless the world with what you do well . Write down your talents that you ' ve mastered and jot down those skills you ' re working on to improve yourself You are good !
TRUST WHAT GOD SAYS ABOUT YOU
Wouldn ' t it make sense to trust the manufacturer to know its creation the best ? Would you call Toyota to askaboutaFord truck ? The Toyota mechanic may know something about the Ford truck , but they wouldn ' t know the intricacies and design completel y. So it is with you . Why base your happiness on what others ' opinions of you are ? Trust what
God says about you . He speaks well of you . He thinks the world of you . He really loves you and guess what ? He likes you too ! Refuse to succumb to the media ' s depiction of success because true success can only be measured when you fulfill your personally destiny . Don ' t compete against others ; instead , focus on being a better person in every area of your life day-byday . Be nice to yourself . You may find it a little easier to be nicer to others , too !