Program Success Mother's Day 2017 | Page 7

Program Success 7 February 2017 Examining the Validity of a Thought

Some of my favorite ducks issues have come up in the restaurant industry . A familiar duck sounds something like , “ I just run a restaurant … I can just hear people saying ‘ get a real career .” The inference is that running a restaurant is somehow less important or less difficult than other forms of business or leadership .

The first few times I ran across it I was dumbfounded . I was talking to an amazing young man in his early twenties who was running a restaurant with $ 15 million in annual sales . I was in awe of how much he had learned about leadership , negotiations , clarity in communications , planning , execution and other important business skills .

I shared my feelings with a coach coworker who had spent most of his adult life as a healthcare executive . He looked at me and said , “ How do we get this guy into leadership in healthcare ? We need him there !”

In this case , the coaching challenge is to help the client discover the wider world value of what he had learned which rewrites the self-talk . The negative self-talk often interferes with the confidence to step into our work and lives , fully . This syndrome of undervaluing ourselves and what we have learned because of some artificial and dismissive measuring system is killing talent .

Reframing Negative Thoughts

One of my favorite in-the-moment reframes was when I was coaching a business leader was very unhappy and in the process of determining how to leave their organization .

When this client called me one day they literally screamed into the phone , ‘ They fired me ! They fired me !” They proceeded to moan “ what ’ s wrong with me , they think I am awful , they don ’ t like me , I am a good person you know …” and it went on and on .

Finally , I had had enough , “ Stop , that ’ s awesome ! We ’ ve been coaching about you leaving there for six months , yippee , they picked a date . Let ’ s celebrate !” My coachee laughed out loud and said , “ oh ya … I want to go !”

As coaches we have a wonderful opportunity to help rewrite some of the internal story for our clients . We help them find positive dialogue to replace what was not helpful . As much as I would like to be able to say coaching session are all that simple , a lot of reframes occur over multiple sessions and involve repeatedly challenging a sneaky belief / duck that shows up and is invisible to the client . The term , a blind spot comes to mind .

A piece of my work as a coach is to identify those negative thoughts when they show up and ask ( not usually decide myself ) if it is being of value in that moment . If the thought is not of value , I help the client unpack their thoughts around it and question the duck .

Coaching Takeaways : Helping Clients Work Through Negative Self-Talk .

• Recognize that not all negative thoughts are untrue or unhelpful

• Help your clients sort their ducks and what to do with them

• Help your client question their negative thoughts

• Support your client to reframe their own thinking

Shut the Duck Up Marjorie Busse Coaching & Leadership Development Vancouver Calgary , Toronto June 2017

Marjorie Busse , CEC MCC Vancouver-Calgary-Toronto

Partner , Essential Impact Coaching & Leadership Development Programs Master Certified Coach

Program Success 7 Mother ’ s Day 2017