The Important Difference Between Self-Righteousness and Conviction
Program Success 11 May 2022
Self-righteousness can sometimes be hard for us to fully understand and own up to . Many of us are quite opinionated and will happily share our thoughts openly . The issue isn ’ t with our opinions or even our willingness to express them passionately ; it ’ s the self-righteousness with which we hold our opinions that can be problematic .
When we hold an opinion with self-righteousness , whether we express it or not , we ’ re coming from a place of being right . And if I ’ m right about something and you don ’ t agree with me , what does that make you ? Wrong … Now we have a problem .
Self-righteousness separates us from others . In certain relationships , situations , and environments , we might be open and honest enough with other people to let them know directly that we think they ’ re wrong . We might be able to say straight to their face something like , “ I think that ’ s a bad idea !”
But , more often than not , and especially at work , we bite our tongue in such situations , especially if there is a lack of trust in our relationship with the person or a lack of psychological safety within the group . We may say , “ Thanks for your input ; I ’ ll take that into consideration .” And then we might find someone else we ’ re close with , and say , “ There ’ s no way we ’ re doing that !” And then , we ’ ll continue to find others who agree with us and we ’ ll gather evidence for why we ’ re right and those who don ’ t see it “ our way ” are wrong .
Self-righteousness negatively impacts us , our relationships , and our teams . It also undercuts our ability to influence those around us and fundamentally damages relationships and trust . Identifying selfrighteousness can be challenging because often when you and I are being self-righteous , we don ’ t think we ’ re being self-righteous , we just think we ’ re right . It takes quite a bit of self-awareness to notice our self-righteousness , and it takes willingness and maturity to let it go , or to at least look at things from a different perspective .
Removing self-righteousness does not mean watering down our opinions , decreasing our passion , or withholding our feedback . Believing strongly in our opinions , as well as in our values and beliefs about life , work , and everything else , is important . However , understanding the difference between conviction and self-righteousness is essential . When we ’ re coming from a place
Communicating with conviction is essential to building strong and trusting relationships with those around us , and with having healthy discussions and debates within our team . Being able to discuss things this way is one of the most important benefits of having psychological safety . Psychological safety is essentially group trust , and is necessary for any team that wants to have a strong culture and to perform at a high level .
As Harvard Business School professor and author Amy Edmondson told me when I had her on my podcast , “ Psychological safety is not about being ‘ nice ’ or even about creating ‘ safe spaces ’ where everyone feels comfortable all the time . It ’ s about having enough trust , respect , and courage to engage with each other in a way that allows everyone to do their best work .”
Conviction , however , is also about having the humility , awareness , and maturity to consider we might be wrong — or that , at the very least , there may be other ways to look at whatever it is we ’ re discussing or debating , even if we don ’ t see it that way ourselves .
When we cross over into self-righteousness , we ’ re no longer interested in hearing what anyone else has to say if they disagree with us or have a different perspective . We ’ re right and anyone and everyone who doesn ’ t see it our way is wrong . This often shuts down the discussion and can create an intense “ Us vs . Them ” dynamic that negatively impacts everyone involved , the team , and won ’ t allow for real authenticity or psychological safety .
Self-righteousness separates us from those who don ’ t think like we do or hold the same ideas , opinions , or beliefs . At work this leads to disconnection , unresolved conflicts , and factions within teams and organizations , especially these days . Lines get drawn between departments , offices , regions , and levels within the company , making it more difficult to make decisions , collaborate , and get things done in a psychologically safe and effective way .
The natural human response to self-righteousness is defensiveness , which is why when we ’ re being self-righteous it ’ s almost impossible to influence others . If we want to connect with those around us in a real way , and create an environment of authenticity , trust , collaboration , and , most specifically , psychological safety , we must be willing to recognize , own , and remove our self-righteousness .
Mike Robbins The Important Difference Between Self- Rghteousness and Conviction May 2022 Author
www . mike-robbins . com / together