PROGRAM SUCCESS – MARCH 2013 PAGE 31
Sibling Rivalry
Brother against Brother;
Sister against Sister;
Sister and Brother against Each Other
Sibling Rivalry is one of the saddest dysfunctional family
relationships that exist and the Bible gives us several
examples of this monstrosity. Among the many are Cain and
Abel, two brothers who both brought gifts of their labors to
the Lord. The Bible says Cain’s gift was rejected by the Lord
and Abel’s gift accepted. The jealousy of Cain drove him to
kill his brother. (Genesis chapter 4)
Then there was Esau and Jacob, again brothers, Esau the
favorite of the father and Jacob the favorite of the mother.
Jacob and the mother conspired against Esau and stole from
him the father’s birthright blessing which gives special gifts,
privileges, and the top leadership position to the first born son
– which was Esau. (Genesis chapters 25-27)
Then there was Joseph and his brothers. Joseph was the
youngest of 13 boys and receives special treatment from his
father including privileges and a beautiful coat of many
colors. Joseph was also a dreamer and one day dreamed of a
time when his brothers and all nations will bow down to him.
The envy of the brothers drove them to beat Joseph, throw
him in a pit where without the interventions of one brother,
they would have killed him. Instead they sold him to strangers
as a slave. (Genesis chapters 30-37)
This strange example of human situational behavior we call
Sibling Rivalry, from one time or another, has existed in all of
our families. It is more than simple disagreement or dislike,
Sibling Rivalry destroys unity and in many cases family
relationships beyond repair because of its vicious retaliation.
The Bible puts it best in James 3:16, “For where envying and
strife is, there is confusion and every evil work.” This we see
in the above stated examples.
Sibling Rivalry possesses the elements of Bitter Envy and
Selfish Ambition, both inspired by the Devil. It is easy for us
to be drawn into wrong desires in the name of Success. Far
too often we hear the motivating cries from society (i.e.: parents,
teacher, friends, etc.) to “Assert yourself,” “Go for it,” “Be the best…
don’t settle for less,” “Set high goals”, which sometimes leads down
the path of greed and destructive competitiveness.
When we realize that we are all God’s creatures, created in our own
special uniqueness with gifts and talents to excel and prosper us in this
world, we then can seek God’s wisdom in discovering and sharpening
those talents which will eliminate our need to compare ourselves to
others and desiring what they have.
Sibling Rivalry is a serious problem in our families, society and even
our churches. Brother against Brother, Sister against Sister, Sister and
Brother against each other. We have bitter relationships that has
spanned years, lifetimes, and even generation to generation, all because
of our failure to properly handle disagreement and difference. There is
neither Family nor Church Family exempted.
It is never a pretty sight to see blood brothers
and sisters with irreconcilable differences. There
is a great need for us all to look closer into
our relationships with people especially
those we dislike and are uncomfortable
with. Be careful to check for envy and
jealousy which may be the main
culprit for our less then desirable
relationship. Also note that the
actions one takes against another
out of bitterness very seldom hinder
that person from becoming what God
has destined them to be, however, those
actions diminish the character and the
quality of life of the offender.
Love is the answer. The Bible tells us in
1 John 4:7&8, “Beloved, let us love one
another: for love is of God; and every
one that loveth is born of God, and
knoweth God. He that loveth not knoweth
not God; for God is love.”