A Survival Guide for Single Girls on Valentine ’ s Day
Ask Demetria : No date ? No problem . Here are fi ve tips to get through one of the worst holidays on earth .
BY : DEMETRIA L . LUCAS
Survival Guide ofr Single Girls on Valentine ' s Day Demetria L . Lucas Jacksonville , Florida Black History 2014
“ Valentine ’ s Day is around the corner . What would you suggest two young , single girls do so they aren ’ t home pining over a tub of ice cream ?”— K . W .
Valentine ’ s Day has got to be the worst holiday on earth . And I say that as a woman who hasn ’ t spent one alone in about six years . There ’ s so much pressure for single women not to be alone and for women in relationships to have a fairy-tale night and for men to make an absolutely perfect grand gesture that “ proves ” their love on one very specific , and very arbitrary , day . Most of us just end up anxious , then disappointed because real life doesn ’ t live up to Hollywood fantasy or budgets .
My advice to you is to think of Feb . 14 as just another day , which I know is next to impossible , with the roses and bears and chocolates and all-pink or -red everything and couples dominating practically every place you look .
I tried to psych myself out one year . I went to the gym after work , which was practically empty , and had the treadmill all to myself , which was great . A few trainers were flirting — and I flirted right back . I figured , if they were on call on that night of all nights , they were probably single . And let ’ s be real : My ego liked the boost .
I was doing all right until I took the subway home and saw all the women with roses and candy , and all booed up with who I hope was their man and not one borrowed from someone else . And I finally lost it when I was walking the block to my house and some street harasser called out , “ You too pretty not to have a man .” I think he meant it as a compliment , but I just felt bad for being alone when everyone else seemed to be paired off . I went home and cried loud enough that my neighbor , also single , came across the hall to check on me . She told me I was being ridiculous , which logically I knew to be true , but still .
Don ’ t be me . And you won ’ t be . You have your girl , and Valentine ’ s Day is still far enough off that you can devise a plan to avoid a pitiful fate . Try these tips instead :
1 . Spoil Yourself
You don ’ t have a special someone to spoil you ? That ’ s cool . You can always treat yourself to a day at the spa , a trip to the nail or hair salon or a fancy pair of shoes .
2 . Date Your Bestie
Magazine
One of my favorite scenes PROGRAM from Sex SUCCESS and the City is when the
women declare that they may not have found husbands , but at least they found one another . You and your girlfriend can dote on each other for a day by sending each other fl owers , taking each other to dinner or exchanging cards or gifts .
3 . Play Hooky
Valentine ’ s Day falls on a Friday , which makes it perfect timing for a three-day weekend . There ’ s still time to book a last-minute Caribbean getaway , and you can get great discounts this time of year . If that ’ s out of the budget , take a weekend getaway to your nearest big city and have a fancy dinner and enjoy the theater or an art gallery .
4 . Snuggle Up With Your Imaginary Boyfriend
Break out that pint of ice cream and pick out a few fi lms on Netfl ix that include your favorite actor — for me , it ’ s anything with Idris Elba or Michael Ealy . Split a bottle of wine and indulge in your fantasies . Once your girl heads home , take the fantasy up a notch by breaking out your rabbit .
5 . Spread Love ... the Brooklyn Way
Put some good love karma into the atmosphere by distributing Valentine ’ s Day cards or small gifts to your friends and family or your colleagues . Putting a smile on someone else ’ s face often leaves you with one on your own .
Demetria L . Lucas is a contributing editor at The Root , a life coach and the author of A Belle in Brooklyn : The Goto Girl for Advice on Living Your Best Single Life and the upcoming Don ’ t Waste Your Pretty : The Go-to Guide for Making Smarter Decisions in Life & Love . She answers your dating and relationship questions on The Root each
week . Feel free to ask anything at askdemetria www . PROGRAMSUCCESS @ theroot . net . com | 15 .