Prison Life & Beyond eMagazine August 2016 | Page 8

FEATURING

LONG DISTANCE SURVIVAL GUIDE:
MAKING LOVE WORK
When you are in a relationship
and everything is going right, life is
good, but suddenly, everything
changes and you have to spend
some time behind bars. Making the
relationship work becomes more
difficult and could be the beginning
of the end.
Serving time in prison is a test for
any relationship. It will either lead
to a better and lasting relationship
or a bitter and regretful split. The
sad truth is that, in most cases
where a man serves long sentences and may never be with the woman outside again, such relationships usually fail. As time goes by,
the woman begins to meet other
people, make new friends and the
feasibility of moving on with someone else stares her in the face. For
those serving shorter sentences,
the prison experience could actually strengthen the bond, as they
begin to realize how much
they mean to each other.
Irrespective of the sentence the
inmate is to serve, the foundation
of love in the relationship before
incarceration begins is what makes
the difference. For prisoners, news
of pending divorce or breakup is a

reason for bouts of depression and
fits of fury. Watching a grown man
cry is not a good sight. On the other
hand, prison separation has seen
married couples bond closer in love,
in appreciation of the most important
things in their life, their relationship,
the family and the commitment they
have made to one another.
Maintaining a strong relationship
while in prison requires work and effort from both parties. Like any long
distance relationship, it requires a
line of communication through telephone calls, writing letters and visitations. Without this continuous contact, most relations will crumble. Sex
also plays an important role in any
romantic relationship but, unfortunately, in most prisons, conjugal visits are not allowed and in prisons
where it is allowed, only a few who
work up to good behavior and clean
violence record can enjoy it. This is
one of the top reasons why maintaining a romantic relationship can be
difficult.

hIS
Point of
view
Every inmate values contact with the
outside world. It is not uncommon to
see an inmate not showing the need
for someone to care about them due
to pride.
But often, inmates talk about their
wives and girlfriends and kids. Inmates in prisons derive hope from
their relations with the outside world;

it gives them the power to push
on, enduring each day until they
return to the reality of their
dreams. However, it can be pretty
difficult when inmates stop receiving love from the outside, because with it goes hope of a better future and sometimes inmates
turn the prison to their new home
and when the date to leave arrives, the attachment to other inmates becomes pretty difficult to
sever.
The good news is that, any relationship that is able to survive incarceration and long distance for
a period of time, will likely become better, with deeper appreciation of the relationship and what
it means to your life. Coming out
is a time to forge new and stronger bonds.

—PLM Contributor