Cogitationes
Elizabeth Lesher
Postmerīdiānus sōl meōs humerōs ardet dum ā aliīs spectātoribus urgeor . Sum inter aliās fēminās et puellās , et expectantēs in arduīs ligneīs scālīs stāmus . Contemplans prōcliva tabulāta Colosseī , virōs dissipātōs et dīvitēs spectō — aliquī adeō suās sellās cum sē ferunt .
Meī oculī in harēnā quā duae figūrae pugnāre incipiunt quiescunt sed ā meō locō difficile est cernere adeō gladiātorēs ; igitur meum animum errāre permittō .
Metuō ne rēs in meō nātāle veniant ; duodecimōs annōs habēbō , et mātrimōnium erit lēgale mihi . Dum crescēbam , mea familia pecūniās in meam disciplīnam infudit — semper praecipuam sensī . Modo autem vēram causam omnis intentionis esse facere mē moventem meō futūrō virō . Nunc sciō mē esse modo aliam rem patris et eum patrem meō mātrimōniō polīticō et oeconomicō compendiō ūsurum esse .
Subitō meum locum meminī et praecipuās sēdēs clausās in quibus aestimatae Vestālēs sedent despiciō . Ac dum proscaenium intueor , videō ūnum gladiātōrum pugnantium esse fēminam . Turba eam hortātur . Sed tum cadit et adversārius eam vicit : iterum turba hortātur dum lāmina per thōraca eius concīdit . Spectō dum moritur et intellegō locum quō Vestālēs sedent esse modo vērō alium carcerem .
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Reflections
Elizabeth Lesher
The afternoon sun burns my shoulders while I am pushed by fellow spectators . I am among other women and girls , and we stand waiting on the steep wooden steps . Gazing downward at the levels of the Colosseum , I see scattered and wealthy men — some even bring their own chairs with them .
My eyes rest on the stage , on which two figures begin to fight , but from my place it is difficult even to locate the gladiators ; therefore , I let my mind wander .
I fear the things that will come on my birthday : I will be 12 , and marriage will be legal for me . While I was growing , my family poured money into my education — I always felt special . Just now , however , I discovered that the true reason for all of the attention is to make me appealing to my prospective husband . Now I know that I ’ m just another possession of my father , and that he will use my marriage for political and economic gain .
Suddenly I remember my place , and I look down at the special enclosed seats on which the prized Vestal Virgins sit . And while I squint at the stage , I see that one of the gladiators fighting is a woman . The crowd cheers for her . But then she falls , and the opponent defeats her : the crowd cheers again while a blade slides through her chest . I watch while she dies , and I realize that the place in which the Vestal Virgins sit is only in truth another prison .