Chapter 58 352 of the past as its remembrance gives you pleasure ."
" I cannot give you credit for any philosophy of the kind . Your retrospections must be so totally void of reproach , that the contentment arising from them is not of philosophy , but , what is much better , of innocence . But with me , it is not so . Painful recollections will intrude which cannot , which ought not , to be repelled . I have been a selfish being all my life , in practice , though not in principle . As a child I was taught what was right , but I was not taught to correct my temper . I was given good principles , but left to follow them in pride and conceit . Unfortunately an only son ( for many years an only child ), I was spoilt by my parents , who , though good themselves ( my father , particularly , all that was benevolent and amiable ), allowed , encouraged , almost taught me to be selfish and overbearing ; to care for none beyond my own family circle ; to think meanly of all the rest of the world ; to wish at least to think meanly of their sense and worth compared with my own . Such I was , from eight to eight and twenty ; and such I might still have been but for you , dearest , loveliest Elizabeth ! What do I not owe you ! You taught me a lesson , hard indeed at first , but most advantageous . By you , I was properly humbled . I came to you without a doubt of my reception . You showed me how insufficient were all my pretensions to please a woman worthy of being pleased ."
" Had you then persuaded yourself that I should ?"
" Indeed I had . What will you think of my vanity ? I believed you to be wishing , expecting my addresses ."
" My manners must have been in fault , but not intentionally , I assure you . I never meant to deceive you , but my spirits might often lead me wrong . How you must have hated me after that evening ?"
" Hate you ! I was angry perhaps at first , but my anger soon began to take a proper direction ."
" I am almost afraid of asking what you thought of me , when we met at Pemberley . You blamed me for coming ?"