Chapter 50 294
the most honourable terms , it was not to be supposed that Mr . Darcy would connect himself with a family where , to every other objection , would now be added an alliance and relationship of the nearest kind with a man whom he so justly scorned .
From such a connection she could not wonder that he would shrink . The wish of procuring her regard , which she had assured herself of his feeling in Derbyshire , could not in rational expectation survive such a blow as this . She was humbled , she was grieved ; she repented , though she hardly knew of what . She became jealous of his esteem , when she could no longer hope to be benefited by it . She wanted to hear of him , when there seemed the least chance of gaining intelligence . She was convinced that she could have been happy with him , when it was no longer likely they should meet .
What a triumph for him , as she often thought , could he know that the proposals which she had proudly spurned only four months ago , would now have been most gladly and gratefully received ! He was as generous , she doubted not , as the most generous of his sex ; but while he was mortal , there must be a triumph .
She began now to comprehend that he was exactly the man who , in disposition and talents , would most suit her . His understanding and temper , though unlike her own , would have answered all her wishes . It was an union that must have been to the advantage of both ; by her ease and liveliness , his mind might have been softened , his manners improved ; and from his judgement , information , and knowledge of the world , she must have received benefit of greater importance .
But no such happy marriage could now teach the admiring multitude what connubial felicity really was . An union of a different tendency , and precluding the possibility of the other , was soon to be formed in their family .
How Wickham and Lydia were to be supported in tolerable independence , she could not imagine . But how little of permanent happiness could belong to a couple who were only brought together because their passions were