Chapter 46 259
of Lydia ' s connections , which is not likely , can I suppose her so lost to everything ? Impossible ! I grieve to find , however , that Colonel F . is not disposed to depend upon their marriage ; he shook his head when I expressed my hopes , and said he feared W . was not a man to be trusted . My poor mother is really ill , and keeps her room . Could she exert herself , it would be better ; but this is not to be expected . And as to my father , I never in my life saw him so affected . Poor Kitty has anger for having concealed their attachment ; but as it was a matter of confidence , one cannot wonder . I am truly glad , dearest Lizzy , that you have been spared something of these distressing scenes ; but now , as the first shock is over , shall I own that I long for your return ? I am not so selfish , however , as to press for it , if inconvenient . Adieu ! I take up my pen again to do what I have just told you I would not ; but circumstances are such that I cannot help earnestly begging you all to come here as soon as possible . I know my dear uncle and aunt so well , that I am not afraid of requesting it , though I have still something more to ask of the former . My father is going to London with Colonel Forster instantly , to try to discover her . What he means to do I am sure I know not ; but his excessive distress will not allow him to pursue any measure in the best and safest way , and Colonel Forster is obliged to be at Brighton again to-morrow evening . In such an exigence , my uncle ' s advice and assistance would be everything in the world ; he will immediately comprehend what I must feel , and I rely upon his goodness ."
" Oh ! where , where is my uncle ?" cried Elizabeth , darting from her seat as she finished the letter , in eagerness to follow him , without losing a moment of the time so precious ; but as she reached the door it was opened by a servant , and Mr . Darcy appeared . Her pale face and impetuous manner made him start , and before he could recover himself to speak , she , in whose mind every idea was superseded by Lydia ' s situation , hastily exclaimed , " I beg your pardon , but I must leave you . I must find Mr . Gardiner this moment , on business that cannot be delayed ; I have not an instant to lose ."
" Good God ! what is the matter ?" cried he , with more feeling than politeness ; then recollecting himself , " I will not detain you a minute ; but let me , or let the servant go after Mr . and Mrs . Gardiner . You are not well enough ; you cannot go yourself ."