Prerogative Fall 2020 - Page 52

GUY TALK by Charlie Boothe Opposites Attract...and Repel Yep. It was a classic case of opposites attract, followed by the eventual and inevitable reality that they may attract at first, but then repel. The infatuation was real, of course, as those emotions usually are. Very powerful, like in, this is THE ONE! Finally, I have found my true love! Yeah, right. Experience can be cruel teacher. I know. Been there, done that. More than once. I’m a slow learner. So when my oldest daughter told me she had a serious relationship with a guy, I was anxious to meet him, of course. Sadly, he was about as different as her as night is to day. He was, she said, a very handsome guy and very nice. But after I had been around him for a short period of time I saw neither. I am no judge of looks in a man, I guess, so I certainly could be wrong about that. But he was clearly self-centered and juvenile, probably wanting a mother and a maid, certainly a woman he could be in charge of. I knew my daughter did not fit in those categories. Not at all. Not only that, they had few shared interests. Although I told her the truth about my evaluation of him, in quite strong terms, she paid little, if any, attention. Infatuation. The source of the old saying, “Love is blind.” Red flags were everywhere, and she either ignored them or figured that, well, it’s not that bad and he will change. They are getting along fine, so they can work out any problem. Besides, she said, he’s smart and he is maturing. Love conquers all. Sure… People rarely change. Things another person does to irritate you only get worse. Finally, mercifully, she dumped him before she made the mistake of marrying the guy. The initial Infatuation is always temporary. Many years ago a friend and I were philosophizing on what is the perfect mate. She said it’s someone who is a mirror of yourself, or close to it. The more alike you are, the better. And if you have any differences, they should complement each other. I questioned whether I agreed, because I had never considered wanting to be with someone just like me. With experience, though, including some bad judgments along the way, I eventually learned she was exactly right. The more alike you are, the more likely you will have a lasting relationship. If you think alike, have a similar sense of humor, enjoy doing many of the same things, have an ability to be on the same page with about everything – yes, that works, and works well. Even when the differences surface, and some always will, they really should complement each other. That may be a difference in spending habits or handling various situations or preferences related to taking care of the house and kids. 50 Prerogative Magazine