What ’ s in a Name ?
LAST CALL
What ’ s in a Name ?
BY JOHN BOHLINGER
Music directly represents the passions of the soul . If one listens to the wrong kind of music , he will become the wrong kind of person . — Aristotle
Remember Ace of Base , the innocuous Swedish pop group with ABBA overtones who sold 30 million albums in the early ’ 90s ? A of B had not crossed my mind since ’ 93 until yesterday , when I listened to a Cracked podcast titled “ How a Pop Band Tricked 9 Million Americans into Being Nazis .”
I ’ d assumed these synth-driven stars spelled “ Base ” as Bass , a reference to a heavy low end , but Cracked hypothesizes the group went with “ Base ” as a reference to the WWII-era Keroman Submarine Base . Known as the Base of Aces , it housed German U-boats during the war . This might seem like pretty thin soup by itself , but consider this : Ace of Base founder Ulf Ekberg cut his teeth in a neo- Nazi punk band called Commit Suicide , whose über-creepy lyrics include “ Men in white hoods march down the road , we enjoy ourselves when we ’ re sawing off … heads / Immigrant , we hate you ! Out , out , out , out ! Nordic people , wake up now ! Shoot , shoot , shoot , shoot !”
That poorly written , hateful shit Ekberg spewed in his early work makes the Nazi allusion more than likely and forces one to rethink the meaning of these lyrics to Ace of Base ’ s breakthrough hit “ Happy Nation ”: “ Living in a happy nation / Where the people understand and dream of perfect man .”
As disturbing as this butthole is , one does have to admit that his band name did what a band name should : It employed clever wordplay , sounded cool , and hinted at a secret connection between musicians and their audience while looking good on a T-shirt . It ’ s a subtle nod that says , “ Here ’ s what we are about . We share a connection .” Knowing what I know now , if I saw Ace of Base on a marquee , I would not go in . But if I saw the Doobie Brothers on a marquee , I would know immediately that these are my people and I ’ d rush to the front row .
Cliché but true : You only get one chance to make a first impression . That ’ s why band names remain wildly important . If you ’ re not clever enough to come up with a catchy handle , you ’ re probably not going to come up with interesting music or a good show . Everybody judges a book by its cover . That ’ s why every successful publisher hires the best designers to construct a cover that lures in an audience . Similarly , the name on a marquee , flyer , or Facebook post will draw or repel a crowd , so choose your name wisely .
The Beatles knew how to pick a name . Their moniker was a tip of the hat to their musical heroes , the Crickets , but — on a deeper level — the “ a ” in place of an “ e ” referenced their infectious beats . Black Flag was clever as well . A white flag means surrender , so a black flag represented anarchy , the perfect emblem for a bunch of malcontents angry at the system . Lemmy knew what he was doing with the name Motörhead . Not only is " motor head " slang for a speed freak — a shout-out to Lemmy ’ s fellow amphetamine lovers — but the name also gives a clue about their hell-bent , hotrod-racing-in-the-red sound .
When I read that the band Contagious Orgasm is playing in town , of course I want to experience that . The band Gay for Johnny Depp makes me think , “ Who isn ’ t ?” Funny and lowbrow names like Butt Trumpet , Almighty Lumberjacks of Death , Henry Kissinger ' s Tits , and Free Beer walk that fine line between clever and stupid , which always puts butts in the seats .
But bands that go cerebral draw longer . The Doors is the perfect highbrow name . Jim Morrison was alluding to
Aldous Huxley ’ s The Doors of Perception , which is a drug reference , but on a deeper level points to William Blake ’ s quote : “ When the doors of perception are cleansed , things will appear to man as they truly are ... infinite .” With that name alone , the leather-clad Lizard King spread his agenda : open your mind and break on through to the other side .
Sometimes spreading an agenda trumps breaking your act . Look at Earth Crisis , a band of straight edge vegans known for their work in the animalrights movement . The name suggests that the Earth is in trouble and we need to adjust accordingly . There ’ s a Scottish band called Dogs Die in Hot Cars . I ’ ve no idea what they sound like , but their name alone serves as a public service announcement .
My guess is that Aristotle warned about listening to the wrong kind of music because he knew that a message is more easily absorbed when attached to a good melody or rhythm . When people of low character want to spread a destructive message , music can be a Trojan horse . Music can make you fall in love or march into battle , so be careful who you listen to . If you ’ re a band , find a handle that describes your vibe . While on the subject , check out my new project : the No-Tuning , Over-Playing , Sideways Twangers .
JOHN BOHLINGER is a Nashvillebased multi-instrumentalist best known for leading the band on NBC ’ s Nashville Star and serving as music director for the CMT Awards and specials on PBS and GAC . When not filming Rig Rundowns and gear reviews for PG , John plays pedal steel for Lee Brice .
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