Preach magazine - Issue 32 - Disability Autumn 2022 | Page 40

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DISABILITY

My disabled body is divine

by Amy Kenny
‘ I don ’ t even think of you as disabled ,’ my colleague offers , hand on my shoulder , like he ’ s trying to commiserate . I ’ ve heard some version of this ‘ accolade ’ for much of my life .
All I can think to say back is ‘ That ’ s not the compliment you think it is .’

He chuckles to distract from the sweat invading his brow . I crank my mobility scooter from tortoise to hare and whoosh away before he can retort , knowing I can only hold my pretend politeness for so long . The ghosts of ableisms 1 past flash before me : every person who has ever told me they ’ d rather die than be disabled , cheering on my heroism for simply existing as a disabled woman , with all the comfort of a porcupine ’ s cuddle . How can praise feel so prickly ?

The truth is , no one dreams of their future including disability , until it does . Amidst the baby shower fantasies , most parents don ’ t imagine canes and crutches for their little bundles of joy . Disabled is not high on the ‘ what you want to be when you grow up ’ list . People ’ s five-year plans generally don ’ t include becoming disabled .