I believe that God is revealed in our struggles. Similar to tempering steel, it’s in the trials and the turmoil that we grow the most. Wisdom, resilience and perseverance all come through the hardships that we face. God is too complex to be experienced only in a text, a building or a ritual; it’s through our life journey that we truly understand God’s mystery and majesty. --Katherine Yee Nesbitt, Phoenix
Can I admit that I'm agnostic? How about an agnostic who prays every day? I think it's the influence of a Catholic school upbringing in me – from kindergarten to high school graduation. In fact, I'd planned to become a nun until my female hormones sidetracked me. Yes, I actually admired those women in black robes and veils -- the women who taught us under the watchful eye of Jesus on the cross, who taught us to read, to square dance, to play fair, to pray for the souls in Purgatory.
When did I change? I think I was in my thirties, just out of college, although the trajectory started while in school, when more and more often I didn't take my kids to church. I had problems with the birth control thing. I had problems believing in a devil. I had problems with the way the church treated women as
"helpers of men." I had problems that women couldn't be ordained because "the Apostles were men." (They also were Middle Easterners, who wore sandals, but I digress.)
I finally concluded that being agnostic made the most sense. I couldn't find anyone who could prove or disprove of a spiritual all-encompassing intelligence. Even atheism seemed too sure of itself without having a shred of scientific proof that they were right.
So I take the cheater's way out. I say that I don't know. But I still pray for my family and friends and for the world in general. Somehow I still believe that good wishes go out into the gigantic universe and might be heard. Read "Horton Hears a Who," and you'll understand what I mean. -- Donna Maurillo, Scotts Valley, Calif.
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