The longer you are put on hold by your phone service provider or your bank is a good indication of just how irrelevant you are—small time spender, low-net worth individual, big fat debtor, bad credit risk, slow to pay and quick to ire. The algorithms have got your phone number. Get over it and get used to it. You’re a loser baby.
You don’t know who will put you on hold and for how long. Yet I was surprised when I called Volkswagen Credit and got the crackling Muzak and recurring crank message driving me to use their website. My profile was clean. I have leased five Volkswagens and have great credit. At the end of each lease cycle, I always turn my car in and get a new one. How could I be put on hold?!
Even though I know buying a leased vehicle is a bad deal, (All the fees have been front-loaded) I needed to talk to a human being. I could not explain on the Volkswagen website what had happened. I had been swept away by emotion! I wanted the whole world to know: I had fallen in love with my car and wanted to keep it!
My Volkswagen GTI (2014 Wolfsburg edition) was the last of the GTIs to be built in Germany. The car is so smart that it knows when to turn before I know I’m turning. On the open highway the car hits 80 miles per hour in a nanosecond, stops on a dime, and has powered me out of desperately bad situations in the snow, wind, ice and rain.
MEDIA BITCH
An Aria from Volkswagen
– In 27 minutes