Your names always went together, or maybe after 30 years of marriage, one remembers the names like that, like salt and pepper. You can imagine the surprise and shock when I got the news- actually delayed news. I received a message late at night/early morning, telling me to please phone, it’s not good news, it is devastating news.
It was too late or too early to phone, so I was lying awake, tossing and turning for at least three hours. I knew someone already died, could tell by the tone; it is already done. We never knew. So it was a few shocks all at once.
One you had Depression; two, you shot not only yourself, but your wife, my sister too. So my brother-in-law and my sister are gone. We were not aware that you suffered from Depression and took medication. The mixed reports are not only baffling, but keeps returning in the early hours, substituting a sound sleep.
Depression is an illness with many dimensions. It’s often described as a constant catatonic feeling, which influences a person’s basic ability to function. “It’s the leading cause of disability in the world, causing lost productivity and care for the many physical and mental illnesses related to it, like anxiety, posttraumatic stress disorder, migraines and sleep disorders. Scientists are gaining a more nuanced picture of what it is – not a monolithic disease, but probably dozens of distinct maladies.” *
From Cape Town, South Africa
Silence
by Bernadette Erasmus