Power of a Praying Woman 10/17/06 9:02 AM Page 25
j C HAPTER O NE i
Lord, Draw Me into a Closer Walk with You
efore I came to know the Lord, I was involved in all kinds of occult practices and Eastern and New Age religions. I searched for God in each one of them, hoping to ?nd some meaning or purpose for my life. I was desperate to ?nd a way out of the emotional pain, fear, and depression I had experienced on a daily basis since I was a child. I thought there surely must be a God, and if I could just be good enough to get close to Him, perhaps something of His greatness would rub off on me, and then I could feel better about myself and my life. Of course I was never able to do that because the gods I chased after were distant, cold, and remote. And this depressed me all the more because I was raised by a mother who was distant, cold, and remote, not to mention abusive, frightening, and cruel. It was later determined that she was mentally ill, and I have since forgiven her for all that I suffered at her hand. Nevertheless, the memories of my childhood eventually snowballed into an avalanche of pain that became so unbearable that I ended up being suffocated by my own hopelessness and crushed into suicidal despair.
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