Power in relationships
Finding a balance of power can be a make or break moment for
relationships between friends and couples. In these
relationships it is inevitable that both parties will have some
degree of power over the other person in some way or form.
But knowing that power often corrupts those who have it, it is
important to be cautious and ensure that this power remains
consistent and equal for both people.
In an article for Psychology Today, neuropsychologist and writer
Ian H. Robertson discusses both the implications of seizing too
much power and having too little power in a relationship. He starts off
by telling the story of an interaction he witnessed between a couple, Karen and Chris, in which Karen publicly exerted dominance over her husband. In this scenario Karen felt she had an emotional dominance over her husband and because of this,
"It's almost
always a sign that the relationship is doomed"
she began to see him as an object. This stirred up feelings of contempt in Karen and a complete lack of empathy for her husband. The trouble is, once one partner begins to feel contempt towards the other, it is almost always a sign that the relationship is doomed. At the same time, while it is not good for Karen to have so much power in this relationship, it is equally bad for Chris to have so little.
This causes feelings of inadequacy and low self-esteem, which can both lead to depression. Neither of these character traits allow for a strong healthy relationship. If couples are incapable of successfully balancing power, their relationship is headed nowhere.