I Am Trying Hard to Follow the Sound : Meditations on Accepting Typhoon ’ s Offerings
is singularity , making all of existence just about me , then we are doomed . And at the moment that we wake , there ’ s a brief instant when we feel the dread wash over us : I am born to die . And in a panic , we hurt each other . This knowledge will kill us all if we let it . We will forget to live before we die . ( The female voice comes in with hope : While it is true that we have no stature if measured up against the infinite�while it is not a question of if we ’ ll die , but of how long it will take�it is also true that infinities are never real . Even black holes leak , bleed out , and die . This life , this other ’ s pain , this chance to melt together rather than get our pitchforks out�this is real , too . We must embrace that chance .)
A memory continues . Past song lyrics are interwoven . It is something true , something beautiful . A childhood memory . I am attached to my neighbors , to my community , no sense of time . But in the background , John 14:2 is twisted and distorted over the wire , and we believe for a moment that there are many rooms in the devil ’ s “ MANSION .” Perhaps it is true . Perhaps there is all too much living space for us to do wrong .
We have unleashed Nemesis , the Greek goddess of revenge who predates even Zeus . Taking her name from νέμειν , a verb meaning “ to give someone what is due ,” Nemesis ’ main job is to punish humans for their hubris , especially for their arrogance in thinking that they know more than what they know . She will bring the reckoning . She knows nothing about mercy .
Since the time of White Lighter ’ s “ Morton ’ s Fork ,” we have been obsessed with the fact that none of us lives forever . “ Let it go , let it go , let it go ,” came the refrain of the female voice of reason back then . She returns here , our head under the “ COVERINGS ,” telling us that we know what we have to do , even if we don ’ t do it . That we have to let it go . Not only is the battle unwinnable , but it is war we are fighting on false prem-
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