Time and Self
83
Though she may physically die, her experiences will survive. In 700 years, her
fellow historians will perform archaeological digs to find her. They will look for
the recorder in her wrist and will listen to her experiences as she tells of heroism
in calamitous times. To Kivrin, it is important that the future know how
courageously the villagers acted, especially Father Roche, during a time when
cowardice abounded.
The psychological effect of the Great Plague was perhaps more destructive
than the physical effect. “Plague has no tomorrows,” a plague observer wrote.
The death that ravished countries, towns, and families replaced future dreams
with nightmares of the past. People existed in the present or possibly in
memories of recent history, but they had lost their futures. “Its hectic course
seemed not only to carry off the lives of the affected,” Colin Jones writes, “but
also to efface their individuality, to blot out their identity.”*"^ Once the plague
hit, it acted conclusively. People often died within hours of exposure, within
days at most. Deprived of control or hope, the dead and dying ceased to be
individuals and became one more body to heap on the pile.
If self exists within the middle ground between past and future, memories
and their interpretations significantly impact the way one defines him or herself
The plague’s survivors were left with the trauma of its destruction. Bereft and
psychologically damaged, like those who experience the trauma of war, the
survivors of the plague indulged in debauchery, lasciviousness, and financial
extravagance to cope with the horror they had seen.^^ Though they may have
been productive members of society before the plague, memories of the anguish
they underwent changed their perspectives on life, their hopes for the future, and
therefore their means of identification.
The way a person relates to the past significantly alters his or her sense of
self After Dana gets caught and brutally whipped for running away, she reflects
on how the experience will affect her future choices. She tells herself that as
soon as she regains strength she will run again. The pain and fear of another
whipping impose a vile reality upon her, though. The whisper, “See how easily
slaves are made,” echoes in her mind.^^ Survival is crucial to the self, and Dana
realizes she has learned her lesson. She will not run again, for she cannot lose
anymore and survive psychologically. As a result, she become s more subdued
and submissive.
Though this lesson changes her negatively, it does provide her with greater
insight about the human spirit. How much can a person lose before she totally
loses herself? When faced with challenges to self, people organize identity upon
their priorities. During the course of her first stay at the plantation, Dana judges
the household cook, Sarah, as a “mammy”: “. .. the kind of woman who would
be held in contempt during the militant nineteen sixties. The house-nigger, the
handkerchief head, the female Uncle Tom---- After she undergoes similar
abuse, degradation, and loss, Dana understands Sarah’s identity to be a product
of painful memories that regulate her present choices. Rufus’s father, Tom
Weylin, sold Sarah’s three sons but not her daughter. Sarah has one child left to