B i g L o v e : Rewriting the Modern Man
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the other women diminishes his own masculinity. As with the average man, the
relationships between women are a means of demoting masculinity, because a
bond is formed which has no bearing on him and into which he is often unable
to penetrate.
Bill’s inability to control his older children is also representative of his
failing masculinity, because they are rebelling against his influence as a role
model and his control over their behavior. Sarah and Ben, the two eldest
children, are the primary concern, because they are each attempting to forge
their own path to adulthood. Ben loses his virginity after prohibitive discussions
with his father, and his desire to repent following the act shows his torment
surrounding the fact that he cannot undo what he has done. Sarah, on the other
hand, does not act in opposition to Bill’s teachings but instead has a negative
attitude toward the institution of plural marriage. She can still remember the
period preceding her father’s return to polygamy, during which her family was
his only family, and questions her mother’s choice to follow him back into
polygamous practices. These two children, being the oldest and most socially
aware, are a mirror to society’s view of their family and of their father. After not
inviting her father to the father-daughter pancake breakfast, Sarah admits to Bill
that she doesn’t like to see him lying about his identity and their family. She
tells him:
SARAH: I lied to you before.
BILL: About what?
SARAH: The pancake breakfast. I didn’t tell you about it
because I didn’t want you to go. You would have
introduced yourself to all the other dads as Bill
Henrickson, father of three, with one wife, with one
house. It hurts to see you lie, Dad. I hate that about
this life—watching you and Mom hide, all of us
having to hide. (“Barbecue”)
In criticizing their polygamous lifestyle, Sarah attacks Bill’s masculinity
because she reveals his weakness as a role model. She watches him hide his
lifestyle from the outside world and panics at the possibility of being found out.
Bill’s vulnerability as a role model is representative of his failing masculinity
and of the fa