Bravo^s G ay W eddings
37
transfer to media presentations of weddings that fall out of the mainstream of
current versions. One baseline against which to analyze the elements present in
the weddings or commitment ceremonies central to Gay Weddings is what
Ingraham (1999) describes as the “stereotypical white wedding,” with obvious
differences in attire based on sex: “a spectacle featuring a bride in a formal
white wedding gown, combined with some combination of attendants and
witnesses, religious ceremony, wedding reception, and honeymoon” (p. 3).
For this study, I recorded the entire series of eight episodes promoted as
Bravo’s “Gay Weddings Marathon” in early 2003. In the following synopses of
each wedding, I note ceremony elements and themes related to family
relationships and how these are manifested in each wedding story. I then discuss
commonalities among the four couples’ stories, major themes present in the
series as a whole, and how those themes serve to illustrate the notions that
romantic relationships require some kind of formalization and that such
formalization is reserved only for heterosexual unions.
Scott and Harley
Scott, a 32-year-old consultant, and Harley, a 29-year-old who works in
sales, have been together for two years. One of their storylines reflects their
seeming incompatibility, with episodes highlighting their recurring differences
of opinion, and the fact that they are seeing a couples’ counselor, with Scott
seeing a counselor of his own. The viewer sees them constantly disagreeing
about the details of their wedding, from the location of the ceremony to the
centerpieces for their reception. The other storyline concerns how Harley’s and
Scott’s families have accepted or not accepted their decision to have a wedding.
Harley’s mother is shown as very supportive and accepting of their relationship,
and is involved with wedding preparations, as she is providing flnancial support.
Scott, on the other hand, admits he has never actually come out to his parents,
who are very conservative. His “coming out” results in his parents’ acceptance,
and they attend Scott and Harley’s wedding in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico.
Scott and Harley invite some 40 guests to the wedding festivities. They
throw a pre-wedding dinner at which drag queens hired by Harley perform
because he wanted everyone to “see more gay life.” The ceremony, held on the
beach, is very casual, with all the guests dressed in casual, tropical-themed
clothing. Harley and Scott wear tropical shirts with slacks, and they appear
barefoot. Harley is escorted by his mother; Scott by his parents. The officiant
appears to be a male friend, and the ceremony includes the exchanging of rings,
and some hint of religion as the officiant mentions “God” and asks the guests to
pray. Scott and Harley read vows they have written themselves, then pose for
photographs and join their guests at their reception, which includes a sit-down
dinner and dancing. Their wedding day ends with everyone watching a
fireworks display.