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appeared to me as a loose jumble of separate things now seemed to come
together as one presence. (260)
Conclusion
As artists and intellectuals facing the specter of death through the ontraction
of AIDS, Monette, Michaels, and Matousek turned to memoiristic writing in an
attempt to bring order and meaning to the chaos and confusion engulfing their
lives. Their accounts are blunt, graphic, and harrowing, and each resonates with
the human will for survival and the human need for understanding why bad things
happen to good people. Monette’s memoir richly reflects various aspects of KublerRoss’ five stages of death theory, with the initial denial concerning his lover’s
AIDS diagnosis turning to a searing anger over the cruel debasements that
characterize the disease. No evidence of bargaining for a miracle is found in
Monette’s memoir, and Monette manages to keep his depression under control in
the name of trying to uplift his lover’s sagging spirits. Eventually, Monette and his
afflicted partner accept the latter’s impending death, but only close to the end
when the ravages of meningitis derailed all hope. Following his partner’s death,
Monette felt numb and lost. Kubler-Ross notes that such a reaction is typical among
those who have just lost a loved one, often leading them to recede into isolation.
She adds:
They not only isolate themselves from the living, but make it harder
for themselves to face the reality of the person’s death....It would be
cruel indeed to ridicule them or to confront them daily with the
unacceptable reality. It would be more helpful to understand this need
and to help them separate themselves by taking them out of their isolation
gradually. (184)
Meanwhile, Michaels’ memoir reflects only three stages of death cited by
Kubler-Ross: anger, depression, and acceptance. His anger stems from the physical
debasement of AIDS and the psychic humiliation imposed by an intolerant,
homophobic society. Depression also plagues the anthropologist, with Michaels
finding little hope in his chances for survival. Kubler-Ross notes that depression
among the terminally ill often reflects the recognition of impending losses. With
the patient in the process of losing everything and everybody he loves, depression
becomes a natural stage in the dying process. Kubler-Ross notes: “What we often
tend to forget.. .is the preparatory grief that the terminally ill patient has to undergo
to prepare himself for his final separation from this world” (97-100). The anger
and depression exhibited by Michaels eventually gave in to acceptance — an