Poetry Is 2017 Poetry is 2018 6M | Page 34

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Jaime

The Day I fell Down the Toilet

Steve Turner

The day I fell down the toilet

Is the day I’ll never forget,

One moment I was comfortable

The next I was helpless and wet.

My feet tipped up to the ceiling

My body collapsed in the bowl

In haste I grabbed at the handle

And found myself flushed down a hole.

One wave goodbye to the bathroom

And I was lost in the sewer,

Traveling tunnels and caverns

On a raft made out of manure.

Then came the washing-up water

With bits of spaghetti and peas,

The filth from a local factory

And an undiscovered disease.

Drifting along in the darkness,

There was nothing to do but wait.

What would I say to my mum now?

What was it that made me so late?

Suddenly it was all over,

From the end of a pipe I shot

Into a part of the ocean

Where the rubbish was sent to rot.

Glad to escape from the tunnel

To leave all pollution behind,

I found a nice spot on the beach

Then started to bathe and unwind.

But bad things began to pursue me

They stuck to my feet and my hand

Wreckage was surfing the wave tops

And oil lay around the sand.

I figured the sewer was safer

For no one said sewers were clean,

I found the pipe that I came from,

And waded my way back upstream.

When I got home I was shattered

I was filthy, ragged and wet,

Rattling the bathroom door was Dad

Saying, ‘You off that toilet yet?’

Poetry is like a brilliant ice cream that never ends.

This poem is funny and original. I never thought it would be possible to fall down a toilet! The poem has a quite serious point to make too as when he is on the beach it is polluted, and dirtier than the sewer, “oil lay around the sand”.