Plonkton Beat the Drum Slowly | Page 26

Pickles It ' s not a question: more like a statement of intent. Twaddle And what is his statement. It is a democratic world, after all. Pickles Are you sure you want to hear it. Twaddle Out with it, Pickles. Pickles Okay then. He states his intention of introducing his boot to your fat ass at the earliest opportunity. He hates the sound of your monotonous voice. Twaddle Err-- yes-- yes. Ah! Any more questions. Bottom Tell us, Sir, how you would cope with the rising costs of public services. Twaddle Let me answer by way of example; in the case of road-sweepers I would suggest giving each of them a monkey. The animal could be employed to collect coins from passers-by. Pong That should have been my question. My Uncle Basil wrote that question down for me. Twaddle Get that damned kid offside. Gallowsbird Will I classify him as a Scottish bairn? Twaddle Just get him to frig out of here. Brudder It’ s too bloody obvious you have seeded the crowd. Pickles Davy Brudder sneered at the crawler who treated his subordinates with contempt. Freeloader How dare! YOU speak to ME like that, you insignificant little bully. Pickles It gave me no end of pleasure to witness the infighting. Perhaps Davy Brudder thought Gallowsbird and Freeloader were getting too much attention from the‘ Duke '. Brudder Here! Pickles Brudder pointed to a well dressed rather ugly, young lady who had raised her hand. Her name was Sally Suckpepper Brudder You’ ll do. Ask Mister Twaddle your question. Suckpepper Mister Twaddle, Your Grace! My cousin, Basil Freeloader says I’ m to ask you what you would do about unemployment, Sir. Freeloader Oh nooooo! Brudder Bloody hell! This is turning into a farce. Is there no end to his family? Pickles After the squabble died down Marmaduke turned to the ugly lady: Twaddle
Yes, to answer your question: bridging loans, dear girl, bridging loans are the answer.