Playtimes HK Magazine Winter Issue 2018/2019 | Page 33

maternity
direct to a new mum’s door.
One of the most discussed
elements of Chinese confinement is
that the new mother may not wash her
hair, or bathe, or even brush her teeth
for the month. It was also considered
important to avoid fans, cold drinks,
cold foods or touching cold objects,
lest more yin (cold) enter the body. “I
think a lot of these old traditions, like
not washing for a month, were mainly
because in the old days people did not
have hot running water, hair dryers or
heating at home. Hence, to avoid the
fragile mother getting cold or falling
sick right after birth, it was better not
to wash with cold water, especially
during the winter,” Cynthia suggests.
Many pui yuets will now allow their
charges to wash, as long as they are
careful not to get cold. Dry shampoo
has proved a popular work-around too.
On the plus side, its also customary
for the confinement carer to bathe
the new mother in hot, fresh-brewed,
ginger water – which many mums
report loving! “I think the reason for the
ginger water is that Chinese people
believe that your pores are wide open
after birth and lots of ‘humidity’ will
go into your pores if you shower and
wash your hair. The ginger helps to
remove the humidity from your body.
It is believed that too much ‘humidity’
in your body will cause arthritis when
you get old,” Cynthia says. DIY ginger
bath sachets are also now available for
mums without a confinement expert in
the home.
The pui yuet’s role also includes
assisting with feeds. “She slept next
to the baby bed in the guest room.
I pumped at 11pm before I went to
sleep, then she would warm the breast
milk to feed the baby overnight. I
woke up at six or seven next morning
and pumped again. I only slept next
to my baby once a week when the
confinement lady was off, and that
was already too tiring for me!” Cynthia
says. “She was also helpful in teaching
me how to breastfeed and how to
massage blocked ducts, which was a
life saver. I loved the chicken rice hot
pot she made for me every day, as
Chinese people believe eating rice also
helps with milk production.”
Whilst most pui yuets are supportive
of breastfeeding and prepare foods
to improve milk supply, their primary
focus is the mother’s recovery, which
can lead to differences of opinion,
as Yuen Wai discovered. “Instead
of waking me from my naps, my
confinement lady fed my baby water
if she was hungry, whilst I slept. My
instructions had been very clear on this
point. I believe we had very different
views on breastfeeding as she advised
me at one point to put my daughter on
formula. We parted ways amicably, two
weeks into confinement.”
Boredom is another factor
mentioned by some mums in
confinement discussions. It’s
worth exploring your pui yuet or
confinement centre (or mother-in-
law’s!) views on whether books and
screens are allowed, as historically
it was thought important that a new
mother not strain her eyes. Again,
many modern mums have pushed
back on this rule. Yuen Wai points out
that: “My confinement lady insisted
I take afternoon naps, so I was
shooed off to bed after lunch, there
wasn’t much time for TV or books
anyway. I was definitely bored until
my parents visited.” Boredom and
loneliness can be a concern when
you are housebound, particularly
if your pui yuet or family members
are not encouraging of visitors.
There has been some research into
links between strict confinement
traditions and increases in post-natal
depression. Though Cynthia also
highlights that “over-exhaustion can
lead to depression, which maybe
could be avoided for a lot of women if
they got good help.” There is research
to support this view also.
So what else should you look
for in your pui yuet? Both Cynthia
and Yuen Wai suggest getting
recommendations from friends, since
confinement ladies will vary in their
adherence to customs, and their
skill-set, based on their experience,
training and dialect group/country
of origin. Cythia suggests that,
“it’s important to have an honest
discussion about what she will and
will not do for you and the baby,
and the hours/days she will be
working. My lady was not pushy and
didn’t force me to eat or do things
that I didn’t want. She was super
experienced with handling babies,
which gave me the peace of mind
to rest, which is very important.” In
addition to discussing breastfeeding,
Yuen Wai also recommends you
discuss in detail the ingredients
your pui yuet intends to use in her
foods and medicines, as some can
be expensive. If you are interested
in a confinement centre, then do
arrange a visit beforehand and be
sure you are aware of their protocols
and the qualifications of their staff.
Understanding the views of any family
members who will be caring for you,
and discussing your requirements in
advance, can help to reduce tensions
during the confinement period.
The idea of confinement is both
ancient and evolving. Yuen Wai notes
that her experience of confinement
was certainly very different to that of
her mother. Meal delivery services,
DIY herbal sachets and confinement
centres are evolving the traditions
further. Giving your body (and mind!)
time to heal after birth is important
regardless of what traditions you
follow. As with everything in parenting,
you have to make choices that feel
right for you. As Cynthia says, Happy
Mum = Happy Family!
Winter 2018
31