parenting demonstrate situational awareness to their children ,” she says . “ The only way parents can guarantee their child ’ s success is to help them develop the ability to form relationships , and they cannot do that if they are constantly checking gadgets in social situations .”
Manners in real life A mother of three children ( aged seven , eight and ten ) who recently relocated to Hong Kong from France , having lived in Australia before that and originally hailing from England strongly believes that manners have been the fundamental playground survival skill that facilitated her children ’ s adjustment to new schools and friends with each move .
“ My advice to the children whenever we moved was to smile , look people in the eye and be polite ,” she says . “ That was all they had when we moved from Australia to France because they didn ’ t speak the language . People read their behaviour in the absence of an ability to converse , and this resulted in positive reactions from their teachers and fellow students . I later learned that when my children found out one of their old friends in Sydney was nervous about moving and making new friends , our children advised him not to worry because if he smiled and was polite , everything would be fine .”
A mother of two boys in Hong Kong , aged three and five , hopes that treating her two helpers with clear respect demonstrates to her children that manners should be consistently applied to everyone in any situation . “ Hong Kong can be a bubble with such privileged lifestyles , so we try to focus on teaching the boys that whoever they are speaking with , they have to mind their manners , because if children think they can act differently with different people , that ’ s when the trouble starts ,” she says . “ Having helpers in the house can provide teachable moments that allow children to observe how adults interact in different situations . It ’ s also important for helpers to enforce the disciplinary approach of parents ; otherwise the children will not understand what is consistently acceptable .”
Manners are a worthy investment While it ’ s an incessant , thankless task , the effort we make to teach manners now will have a long-term impact on our children . As Patsy Rowe writes in her book , Manners Magic for Children , “ Without adults to guide them , ill-behaved , inconsiderate children will grow into ill-behaved , inconsiderate adults .”
Top Tips
• " Please ," " thank you ," " May I , " Excuse me ," and " No thank you ," go a long way .
• If you want your child to have good manners , you must lead by example .
• Set the rules at home , explain them clearly and create fun etiquette activities to reinforce the rules .
• Once you ' ve taught manners at home , take your children out to casual restaurants where they
• Children love praise so encourage them when they are polite .
• Start teaching your children basic table manners from an early age .
• Be patient .
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