parenting
Child development and etiquette experts certainly think so and now claim that today ’ s busy lifestyles are leaving manners behind . If you ’ re like the rest of us – exhausted , busy parents who wildly underestimated how much of parenting involves drill sergeant-like tactics to train young children how to behave – breathe a sigh of relief . It ’ s not too late to teach manners that give children the road map to be able to interact thoughtfully , respectfully and empathetically with others in almost every situation they will encounter .
We all have days when we wonder if they will “ get it ” and are tempted by the idea of relaxing our standards after nagging for the gazillionth time . And when we are all stretched and stressed with overscheduled children , who has the energy and time to keep instilling manners ? Keeping in mind – this being Hong Kong – it appears that teaching manners can be outsourced , too .
Manners in Education Integrating manners into educational curricula has become a hot topic in educational circles over the past few years , with feisty arguments about whether parents or teachers are responsible .
The Australian Institute of Manners supports teachers and parents of pre-school and primary school children with a manners education programme . In the UK , there has been a recent debate over whether secondary schools should mandate lessons in good manners , punctuality and tidiness amid concerns that pupils are failing to develop “ character ”. Anita Kulick , president and CEO of Educating Communities for Parenting in the US , believes children should be learning manners alongside reading , writing , maths and all the other subjects required for living a productive lifestyle and satisfying life .
External Coaching Alice Kaushal , etiquette coach and managing director of Refine Consulting in Hong Kong , has a truly global grasp of manners . Alice grew up in Uganda with parents originally from India and has lived and worked in the US , Canada , Germany , Malawi , Singapore , Australia , mainland China and Hong Kong . Alice feels that the contrast between Western and Asian cultures means parents must make an extra effort to ensure their values are reflected by everyone involved in raising their children . “ It is customary in Asia to indulge and spoil small children , so it ’ s important to teach all the caregivers , not just parents but helpers too , which manners you wish to instil in your children and the reasons why you are doing so ”.
Alice asserts that if manners are not taught to children during their formative years , they may face challenges when they grow up and start applying for their first job . “ Before the economic fallout a few years ago , ‘ talented terrors ’ were permitted . But today , even the most exceptional job-seekers need to be able to fit into a team , and you cannot do that unless you have the skills to make people like you ,” Alice says . “ Manners are an external expression of how we show consideration of other people . Situational awareness , or the ability to read and respond to other people , as well as respecting others , are essential qualities for the top jobs .”
Top three manners The top three manners children should learn by primary school , according to Alice , are : 1 ) the ability to say thank you properly and with a spirit of gratitude , 2 ) the ability to greet and say goodbye to others with significance and 3 ) the art of conversation by displaying an interest in other people .
“ The most difficult aspect of teaching basic manners to children for parents is to divorce themselves from their own technology so that they can