keen to give back .
In 2014 , she signed up to be a foster parent . Two months later , a thirteen-month old boy with Down Syndrome , who had been living at a large local orphanage , joined her family through the Project Bridge program .
John * had been very sick in the orphanage and spent most of his time lying down in his crib , says KookHee . As a result , he wasn ’ t able to sit up when he joined her family . He was unresponsive , unhappy , and avoided eye contact .
“ But love changes people ’ s lives every day ! Two months later , he was smiling , responding , and later on belly laughing ! He was able to stand up with just a bit of support before he left and was in general really , really happy and trusting . It was honestly one of the best things I have ever done and the most beautiful and rewarding experience ,” KookHee recalls .
It takes a village
Mother ’ s Choice provides 24 / 7 support to Bridge families . Each family gets a dedicated caseworker , training before and during the child ’ s stay , a tailored child development plan and a multi-disciplinary team of medical and therapy professionals to support parents , as well as respite care and emergency care .
The support provided by Mother ’ s Choice and the Bridge project throughout John ’ s eighteen-month stay was incredible , KookHee says .
“ Mother ’ s Choice social workers came once a month for a home visit and checked in by phone at least once a week . Whenever possible , they also attended doctor appointments . He hadn ’ t gotten much , if any , physiotherapy and speech therapy in the orphanage and Bridge Project made sure that he got it once a week after he came into our care . They organised get-togethers with other foster parents , Christmas lunches and other event gatherings . They held workshops and talks on fostering , attachment and trauma and any time there was any issue or doubt , they were available and helpful ,” she comments .
Letting go
Letting go of a child she loved and still loves was heart breaking , KookHee admits but , again , Mother ’ s Choice prepared her with workshops and support .
“ The absolute hardest part was knowing he had a forever family but not knowing them . Would they love and care for him ? Were they nice people ? It was very hard to see him go but I can honestly say that he is exactly where he should be – in an incredible family that love , love , love him ,” says KookHee , who receives regular updates and photos from John ’ s family .
Whilst letting go is hard , KookHee welcomes the opportunity to be a Bridge Parent again .
“ I have come to realise that this isn ’ t about us . Yes , we give a lot but we get tenfold more back . If you can let go gracefully knowing that the foster child is on his or her way to something even better and that , in the meantime , you could help and teach that child to love , to trust and to grow , then do it . Would I do it again ? Absolutely , yes !”
30 YEARS OF CHANGING LIFE STORIES
It all began in 1986 when long-time resident Phyllis Marwah , who had just given birth to her sixth child , read a series of articles in the South China Morning Post reporting the disturbing number of teenage pregnancies in Hong Kong . Girls as young as thirteen were terminating their pregnancies as late as their ninth month and around 100 girls were going to Shenzhen every weekend to have unsafe abortions .
Shunned by family and friends , pregnant teens were often left to face the darkest crisis of their lives alone . Appalled by the facts , Phyllis felt compelled to change their life trajectory : she knew she couldn ’ t turn her back on these vulnerable girls too . Together with Ranjan Marwah , and their friends Helen and Gary Stephens , she committed to open a home where pregnant girls would feel safe , accepted , and were given hope and courage .
Overcoming many challenges , the founders opened the doors to Mother ’ s Choice in 1987 . The charity has since evolved to serve not only pregnant teens but also children without families . It has served 53,000 girls by providing support systems that include counselling , a safe place to live , pre-natal support , parenting training , adoption support , and a post-abortion healing journey . Over 2,000 babies and children - many with special needs - have been cared for in the Child Care Home ; and over 860 children and youth have received temporary care through the charity ’ s support of foster families , while advocating for each to join a permanent family . The charity has also delivered sexuality education to over half a million youth across Hong Kong , particularly in high-risk areas of crisis pregnancy and to youth in foster care .
“ The past 30 years have been a journey I could never have imagined . Thirty years later , I have more hope than ever before , and I see so much potential in what we can do for our city ,” says Phyllis , mother of seven , who applauds Hong Kong ’ s community and the hundreds of volunteers who work tirelessly week in , week out to fulfil the charity ’ s vision . “ Our heritage is important , but we have to keep thinking of the future . We ’ re here to change life stories , and if we do our jobs right , we hope that our girls , children , and families will never return to the crisis that they previously walked through .”
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