education
D
o you sometimes use
devices for convenience…
put the kids in front of
an ipad to grab a quiet
moment to do something you need
to do? Does behaviour change with
use? Do you see more tantrums,
tuning out, addictive traits? Screen
time isn’t the only issue to consider
either. If your child’s device is
connected to the internet, what are
they watching? Are they conversing
in any online games?
Some schools do tech talks each
school year about the safe use of the
internet, how to set up rules, how
best to engage your child with writing
up rules so all are on the same page.
They make it sound straightforward.
It’s not. Rules get bent, then thrown
out of the window over summer, during
flights, long drives and while having
some downtime.
Here we talk about some rules and
tools; rules that are reasonable for
the age of your child and tools to help
ensure these rules are adhere to.
It’s a delicate balance to set: how
much control do you want over your
child’s internet access? It sounds like
an obvious question, but things like
parental controls and apps which let
you view exactly what your child gets
up to online mean the possibilities for
surveillance are endless. Growing up
in a digital, technological age means
that, inevitably, kids will be able to
access the best and worst of what
the internet has to offer. So how
much freedom do you want your kids
to have?
Kids spending too much time
staring at a screen has been a worry
for parents since—well, since they
were invented. And it’s not just kids
who are a concern—which adult
hasn’t thought about doing a ‘phone
detox’, or vowed to switch off more
as a New Year’s Resolution and then
given up three days later when anxiety
over missing emails or texts from an
enraged boss kicks in? Everyone’s
guilty. The good news is, there’s a lot
that can be done about it.
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Rules and Tools
Some individual apps allow you to
set time limits per day, like Instagram,
where an alert will pop up after 30
minutes or an hour of use in total telling
you your time’s up. They’re not binding,
though—the app doesn’t immediately
shut down for the next 24 hours, so
you can just press ‘ignore’ and carry
on. It won't give you another reminder,
either, so you can scroll uninterrupted—
if a little guiltily.
Apple’s ‘Screen Time’ feature lets you
easily control children’s use of apps and
the internet, letting you set time limits
remotely and block off entire periods
of time where apps won’t work at all.
Features like these can act as a back-up
for rules you set, to help ensure they
are being followed, so you can go out
for dinner and rest assured that the kids
aren’t running wild on Netflix.
Younger children
Without (ironically) relying too much on
technology to do the policing for you,
there are other ways to manage screen
time. Younger children often need some
kind of consistency. Setting a specific
schedule, perhaps matched to activities
around the house like when you’re
cooking dinner, gives children a routine
to follow so they know exactly what
their limits are. It’s also worth thinking
about allowing certain things on specific
days—some families swear by banning
all screens during the week, but it could
also work setting out alternating days to
watch TV or play video games, to avoid
the inevitable binging on weekends.
Then there’s good old-fashioned
analogue tools—once the timer goes
off, the iPad gets whisked away or the
computer gets shut down.
Older children
It’s harder to strike a balance with older
kids—no teenager ever likes being told
what to do, or to be patronised, so
having a conversation with them about
what limits they want to set is probably
the best bet. Most will be aware when
they need to switch off.
With slightly older kids, whose
schedules are crowded with sport,
extra-curricular activities and
homework, screen time can be rationed
as a break between pages of algebra
sums and Mandarin tutoring. When it’s
time to get back to work, phones can
always be locked away.
We asked teenager Florence
Clifford for her thoughts on managing
screentime, “A friend of mine at
school has genuine attachment issues
to her phone, the sort that baby-
boomer comics like to satirise in a
head-shaking, ‘kids these days’ kind
of way. The solution? We take her
phone away when she’s meant to be
studying, and hide it somewhere in one
of our own rooms until she provides
evidence that she actually has done her
physics homework.”
Real Life Needs
Further complicating things with
teenagers is the fact that they actually
need their devices a lot more than
younger children—a lot of homework
is reliant on internet access, and being
stranded without a phone when out
and about is not a situation anyone,
parent and child alike, would care to be
found in.