maternity
These days we live in a world of
rules with experts everywhere and,
because of that, we forget to rely on
ourselves and the people we truly
trust. So many parents are following a
piece of advice because they read it in
a book, a popular blogger said this or
that, or all the other mums are doing it.
It's endless!
But are we stopping to consider
why? If your baby is happy and content,
why change what already works?
I believe that for many people, there
just hasn't been an opportunity to see
how other parents have tackled child-
rearing. If you have never been inside
a home at 9 pm where there are two
children ready for bed with extremely
tired parents, you won't realise how
important it is to stay calm and give up
a little bit of control. Without exposure
to the nitty-gritty of parenthood, you
won't realise that these pervasive
experts and mummy blogs won't be
able to tell you all the answers.
There are so many challenges we
face as parents, we shouldn't have
to be worrying about what advice is
correct and isn't correct. You and your
baby should just do what you think is
right. After a little time with your baby,
you will realize that you slowly learn
what is right for you.
Most of the time, things aren't
perfect. But if you slow down and take
it one day at a time, lie down with your
baby on your chest and just listen, you
will start to find your instincts and the
pure joy of being a parent.
Admittedly, I am a busy mum who
is a very imperfect parent and I beat
myself up about it every day. I am also
sensible enough to realize that I am
my own enemy when I do that and I
become an even worse parent if I allow
myself to be like that.
So each day I think about the people
that have subconsciously taught me
how to be a parent. And sometimes,
I even learn something from myself,
something that no book and no other
parent could have told me. I just learned
it because I took the time to sit quietly
and listen to my little one, who in a few
months will not be very little anymore
and will have less need of me.
So now, while I can, I will just hold her
very tightly and stay as close as possible.
Forget about all the advice books.
Hulda Thorey is director and founder of
Annerley (formerly Annerley Community
Midwifery Services and Annerley
Midwives), part of OT&P Healthcare.
Hulda specialises is continuous midwifery
care during pregnancy, although most of
her day is spent doing antenatal clinics
and consultations for parents to prepare
for birth and the baby.
Autumn 2019
23