The man and the adult children need to be willing to communicate all together to clear the air. The girlfriend is not responsible for how a man’s adult children turn out, and nor is she responsible for their displaced feelings.
5. The Ex-Wife: When the hatred is unprovoked, the ex-wife is usually behind the manipulation making sure that her position in her children’s life is assured. She will covertly and directly poison the kids and convince them that their Dad has a “new family” and that he has “changed” due to the new girlfriend’s influence. She teaches the kids to think this girlfriend is taking their dad away and he loves them less now that he has her.
Remember, men, you are a role-model to these adult children. It is healthy for them to see real love, to see you happy. If jealousy is involved discuss their feelings and reassure them that they are of the utmost importance to you but you also have the right to be happy in life and that you expect them to want your happiness as you want theirs. Explain to them that they have to learn to live life accepting life on life’s terms and that while change is not always easy, love unites and negativity and hatred divide. What a great life lesson preparing these children for adulthood. Teach it to them before they get grown.