BY MARISA ECHAVARRI
Your heart is broken . You feel as though every moment spent with him was a lie ; that all your happiness has disappeared so suddenly that you ’ re left gasping for air . It doesn ’ t matter if it is early on in your relationship or if you have been together for years , he cheated on you . You ’ re left wondering if he ever really loved you and if you are crazy for considering giving him a second chance . Before you make the decision about whether to stay with him , consider the following points .
Come to terms with it .
It happened . He went out and slept with another woman . As far as I am concerned , cheating is one of the lowest things a person could do . But , he did it . Accepting that is one of the first things you have to do before you start considering your options . Cheating cannot be swept under the rug or purposely forgotten about . Say , “ he cheated on me ” several times to yourself , then when that fact has sunk in , take your next steps .
Take time .
Please . Please , please take time . At least two weeks before you decide whether you are going to stay with him . Take two weeks , two months or a year . I don ’ t care if he is begging and crying for you to stay with him , give yourself the space to think everything through . If you mean anything to him , he ’ ll give you the time and space .
Did he tell you right away ?
This is the biggest factor , in my opinion , when it comes to determining your plan of action . If he comes straight out and tells you ( in person ) within the first 24 hours give him some credit . It usually means he is sincere in his apology ; however , if you find out through someone else or if he tells you days , weeks or even months later … that is almost a definite sign that he isn ’ t worth a second chance .
When he comes out and tells you directly it means he wants to make it better right away . That is , if he doesn ’ t break up with you after telling . If he doesn ’ t tell you immediately , it usually means he just wants the fact that it happened to disappear and for you to live in the dark .
Keep it private .
I know that the first thing you want to do is text all your friends and cry your heart out . And that ’ s fine . Call or text two or three of your closest family or friends and let them help you through it . However , do not send out a mass text or spam Facebook and Twitter . Yes you want everyone to know how terrible he is , that ’ s understandable … but remember if you decide to stay with him , everyone will know what happened . You don ’ t want to be flooded with criticism and unwanted advice for whatever decision you choose . Just keep your information in a small group of your closest .
Ladies , you need to remember it is not your fault . I don ’ t care if you had a fight , were having issues or about to take a big step in your relationship … he should not have done it . Now , that being said remember the above points , look into yourself and go from there in your relationship .
PinkBlitz Magazine / Issue 002 / June 1 , 2013 23