Pink Weddings Magazine Spring 2017 PinkWeddings SpringSummer 2017 | Page 92

Ask FondA
Legendary cabaret queen and PWM agony aunt Fonda Cox tackles your dilemmas …

Ask

DEAR FONDA , I ’ m quite casual in my approach to tidiness whereas my fiancé is super-neat . I can ’ t even kick off my shoes without him leaping up to pair them at the right angle . Our wedding planning has turned into a plethora of spread sheets and gant charts – how can I make him stop this hell ?
My Dear Reader , if you were perfectly suited then it wouldn ’ t be a real marriage now would it ? No one gets their fairytale – even Cinderella argued with Prince Charming over their differences because he drove a 4x4 that polluted the forest and she preferred to travel everywhere by pumpkin . But one thing I can ’ t abide is a spreadsheet – which is odd , as I adore most things that spread … We have to get him to be more dynamic and spontaneous , and less reliant on formulae . Why not show him how tidy you can be by jumping into the housework with gay abandon – and while dancing around the house with dusters strapped to every extremity , perhaps you could accidentally clean his computer monitor with oven spray instead of Windolene . The acid will melt his screen , and with the wedding fast approaching he ’ ll be forced to write out all further wedding plans on the back of one of your dried-up antibacterial toilet wipes .
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