Ask FondA
Legendary cabaret queen and PWM agony aunt Fonda Cox tackles your dilemmas …
Ask
DEAR FONDA, I’ m quite casual in my approach to tidiness whereas my fiancé is super-neat. I can’ t even kick off my shoes without him leaping up to pair them at the right angle. Our wedding planning has turned into a plethora of spread sheets and gant charts – how can I make him stop this hell?
My Dear Reader, if you were perfectly suited then it wouldn’ t be a real marriage now would it? No one gets their fairytale – even Cinderella argued with Prince Charming over their differences because he drove a 4x4 that polluted the forest and she preferred to travel everywhere by pumpkin. But one thing I can’ t abide is a spreadsheet – which is odd, as I adore most things that spread … We have to get him to be more dynamic and spontaneous, and less reliant on formulae. Why not show him how tidy you can be by jumping into the housework with gay abandon – and while dancing around the house with dusters strapped to every extremity, perhaps you could accidentally clean his computer monitor with oven spray instead of Windolene. The acid will melt his screen, and with the wedding fast approaching he’ ll be forced to write out all further wedding plans on the back of one of your dried-up antibacterial toilet wipes.
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